Project 365 - MaddiePie

Just a quick note to invite you over to the MaddiePie Creations blog to follow along with me on my Project 365 journey!

1 picture a day for 365 days...too excited!

Doubts

Everyone has doubts...right?? There are some days that I take a look around and feel as though I doubt everything. I "know" others have doubts and that I am not unusual...but some times they just get a little overwhelming.

I follow MANY blogs...it's really kind of ridiculous! But they make me feel that I am a part of something larger. They are people that are...well they become family. I love to read about what is going on in their lives, the good, the bad and the ugly. Two of the blogs I follow are beautiful sisters. One is an amazing photographer, Jasmine Star, and the other is her amazing sister Bianca. These two people are so passionate about what they do and really seem to have a clear understanding of where they are headed...even if they don't always know how to get there. The funny thing is...I think they graduated high school one year after me. I get lost in their postings because they are wonderful writers. I forget we are the same age. Maybe it is because they seem so sure of their paths in life. Maybe because my life is so chaotic that I never know if I am coming or going.

I feel as though I meant to do this photography thing, but yet I have so many doubts and so many reservations. I still have so much to learn and know that I am nowhere near as good as I need to be...or as good as I can be. I have had several people make me re-evaluate if this is what I am meant to do. Maybe I am just trying to find something else to make me happy now that I am 30.

I doubt myself as a mother. I wonder if my parenting skills will permanently mess up my kids in the future. I worry that all the drama of being a teenager and (almost) preteen will scar them for life. I worry that I haven't given them the tools and self assurance to make good decisions when faced with peer pressure. I worry that we fight too much.

Bianca's post today was about listening for the answers when you ask God questions. The Man and I just had this conversation not too long ago. I didn't grow up in a religious family so I don't have a super strong faith to fall back on. I believe there is a God and I believe that He has a plan for me. But I think I also expect that when people say God told them this or that...they had this conversation with him, like I would have with someone face to face or on the phone. I want clear cut answers. I want to know why. I want to be reassured that we are doing the right things. I want to know what my next step is supposed to be or at least that the one i just took was the right one.

I want to have a few less doubts...and know that I am walking down a road that I am meant to walk down. I want some peace. I want to be sure...sure of who I am, the person I am meant to be, and the things that I am meant to do in my life.

MaddiePie update

I have been a busy girl!!

Head over to the MaddiePie Blog to check out some more recent sessions






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Busy Girl

Thru it all, I have stayed extremely busy. Head over to the MaddiePie Blog and check out some of my latest sessions.

MaddiePie Candles are also back. Each year around the holidays I make candles. So many different scents this year! They are officially ready so send me an email if you are interested!
maddiepiecreations@yahoo.com

As of this coming Monday I will also be an Avon Representative. Avon has really changed over the years and have greatly improved their products. It is the only makeup I wear now...and if you know how picky I am about my makeup, then you know that is saying alot.

I guess I figure, if I stay super busy I won't really have time to wallow in my poor pitiful me mentality. Then again, if it all goes well...maybe eventually I can not work full time and do these things that I enjoy!

Going Dark

I am trying really hard to keep my head above water...and just keep swimming. But man some days it is tough. So I apologize that I haven't blogged too much lately. It's really tough to stay positive and I am a firm believer that no one wants to hear me whining about how rough things are right now.

In fact, I was even told last week that no one really likes to hear me whine. So the best I can do right now is just stay a little quiet and go a little dark. At least on the bad days...

Holidays are here and I am no where close to being ready. In laws are coming this weekend for Thanksgiving, lots to do to get things in order. Then the mad rush for Christmas begins. Everything is going to be homemade this year. Now to just figure out what to get the hooligans.

Oh!! The Boy turns 13 Thursday. That should be interesting.

The Boy

The Boy is trying out for basketball today and started back up with the select soccer team...AND he has regional tryouts for band next weekend. Busy? yeah, maybe just a little.

His grades are slipping because he extremely lazy when it comes to his classes...how do you motivate someone?

The greatest thing through all of this though (The Man not working) is that their relationship has grown considerably. The Boy is really starting to open up and talk and ask questions.

Some questions I would rather not know about...but I guess you can't be picky.

He really is struggling right now, trying to find out who he is and how he fits into the puzzle. He got super upset the other day because he is not, tall, strong, athletic, and handsome. While he is in my eyes, I do understand that compared to the other boys he is surrounded by, he does not measure up physically. We had a long conversation about how he needs to learn to be comfortable in his own skin and know that he is an amazing person and THAT is what really matters. I know that it isn't important right now, but in the long run, he has to be ok with who he is in spite of his physical appearance.

Of course, as I tell him all of this, I also acknowledge that I wasn't comfortable in my own skin until just a few years ago. I hope he finds his way LONG before I did.

So Blessed

I was wrapping up a session and getting it posted on the MaddiePie blog and was a little overwhelmed by how very blessed I am. I have some of the best people sprinkled throughout my life. Some of these people love me for me and just knowing that makes it all worthwhile.

Our lives have been extremely chaotic over last few months and some days it really does feel like the weight of the world is crashing down around me. But it is in these moments, that I know that I will rise above all the madness and continue on trudging through. It is in these moments that I know that I have a great support system and if nothing else they will lift me up and not allow us sink.

Crazy Busy

Sorry for my lack of blogging. It has been crazy busy. Work is crazy, school is crazy, photography is crazy, kids are DEFINITELY crazy!!

The Girl is wrapping up softball and cheer - thank goodness

The Boy is getting involved in athletics in school now that his heart has been cleared. He is also gearing up for regionals in Band. The band teacher said that he thinks he has a REALLY good chance at making it into the regionals band...yay Boy! He is slacking on his grades so we are attempting to get him refocused...good luck with that. He is just way lazy about it all.

The Man is still searching for jobs. We have our fingers crossed on a really good prospect right now..but he is getting nervous. We have faith that everything is going to work out, but some days our faith waivers.

My photography feels like it is really going somewhere..but then again this is the busy time of year for family portraits. I have GOT to figure out some ways to get business booked for the beginning of the year. I need some marketing ideas. Some ideas that will get people motivated to keep booking with me after the rush of the holidays.

The school pictures went well - I am almost done editing them and will be able to open them up for the parents. I am really super scared about it. I mean REALLY nervous.

Right now, I am working on getting plans made for going to Vegas to a photography convention. I am so very excited about it!! I really hope it all works out.

It is crazy the amount of money it takes to get a business going. I knew it took a lot, but there is always something that I run across that I think, WOW I could really use that. That would be so beneficial. OMGosh I REALLY would like to go to that workshop.

So that is our lives in a nutshell...just crazy! For now, back to work... and tonight..back to editing. Man it's almost of a full time job!

Good news

Great news really. The Boy's heart is completely fine. There are NO holes in his heart. We can go two ways with this one. Either the original dr that looked at the echo didn't read it right and instead of saying to us that they didn't get good images and we needed to come in - he decided to diagnose The Boy with a hole in his heart. Or Door #2 says that all of the prayers worked.

I think I will go with Door #2. Thank you to everyone who prayed for my hooligan. He is VERY relieved and is excited to get back to sports, and life in general without having this craziness weighing so heavily on him.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is the day we go to the cardiologist. I have done really well the last week or so and haven't burst into tears. It took me a good week + to be able to say what was going on with The Boy's heart without just completely sobbing like an idiot. I had to remind myself that there is a plan and everything happens for a reason.

But now that we are here...just 12 hours from meeting with this new doctor, I am scared to death. I am so scared of hearing bad news. But I do know in my heart that it will be ok, whatever the outcome is. I know that I am so very blessed to have made it 12 (almost 13) years without finding out about this hole in some other horrible manner. We are here today for a reason. He is a remarkable kid and I know that everything will be ok.

But...I am sick to my stomach. I am praying that regardless of the news I am able to maintain my composure in front of him. He knows I am a worrier...so is he. I want to be his rock. I want to be the strong one that reassures him that no matter what the course of treatment is...it is all going to be ok.

So now that today is done and we have tucked both of the hooligans in their beds and hollered up the stairs to be quiet more times than we care to count...I am wishing that tomorrow would wait just a little bit longer.

On the flip side, I am happy that tomorrow is here. We will have a plan. I will be able to ask all the questions floating around in my head. We will know where this journey is going to start. We will be able to hopefully receive a little bit of reassurance.

Our doctor is new to this hospital. I noticed on all of the paperwork i filled out that his name was not on any of it. I pray that he is knowledgeable, compassionate, comforting, and spiritual. I pray that he isn't new to medicine. I pray that he will know best. I pray...that he says a prayer.

Tonight The Boy went to church and talked about his heart. This is the first time I think he has done this. They prayed over him. I pray that it was enough.

I know that tomorrow is only going to leave me with more questions...and that is ok. It will be a start. A start to something....good news or not so good news...it will be a start. More than anything, it is another day. We will take it one day at a time and trust in those around us, those far away, and those up above that our prayers will give us peace with whatever we learn tomorrow.

Where have all the blog posts gone??

I am terribly sorry that I haven't blogged in so long. Busy just really doesn't even describe my life right now...we are so far beyond that. Even the drive home isn't long enough to make all the phone calls needed.

The Girl has been crazy busy with sports. Every Saturday we have two softball games and a football game for cheer. In between all of that I have been busy reworking the MaddiePie Creations website and securing the contract for the school pictures. I've also got my classes going on so homework in the evenings...at this point, I'm just praying for passing grades. The Boy has his appointment with the Cardiologist this Thursday. Woo Hoo!

The Man is working so very hard on finding a job. He had a really great interview Monday and now we are just waiting for a follow up phone call. He feels really good about it - so PLEASE PLEASE say a prayer.

My work is insane to say the least. Crazy, crazy. The end of the year is always very busy for our group with performance reviews and ramping up for Open Enrollment. Not to mention all the usual daily stuff that goes on.

I am booking up for October and November. It is so very exciting. I can't believe how many sessions I already have scheduled. I really feel like great things are to come.

I have some pictures to download of the kids...when I find time.

Off I go...The Man is earning brownie points tonight and treating me to something special! Woo Hoo!

Rainy days

Ugh, it's raining again today. I know we need it, blah blah blah...but man I am so tired of the rain. It doesn't really help too much with the mood either. I find myself very quiet and reserved these rainy days. I have a hard enough time focusing on work, because truth be told, I would much rather be ANYWHERE but here. I have so many things to work on and so many things on my to do list and homework and sleep. Oh I could sleep for days. I could just crawl in bed turn on the TV and sleep. Maybe that's why nothing ever seems to get done...every free moment i have i sleep. hmmmm, might need to re-evaluate that approach.

I want sunshine, I want cool 75 degree days. I want some free time. I want to be ahead of my to-do list not so far behind it that I can't sleep for thinking about everything that I need to get done.

Stinkin' rain always makes me a little blue.

Woo! What a weekend

This weekend was jam packed..and I am exhausted. It is 8:00pm and I am currently trying to figure out how to go to sleep without anyone noticing.

Yesterday, The Girl had two softball games and a football game to cheer. Then both kids spent the night with some friends. This morning started off with a baby shoot and then a boudoir shoot this afternoon. Super super busy.

Right now we are watching The Wizard Of Oz. Did you know this movie was made in 1939??? That just seems crazy to me. The Man told the kids tonight that Nanny & Papa grew up watching this movie. That really blew my mind. It's funny how we don't think of those things. It's hard to imagine a movie has stood the test of time like this one and still makes little kids glaze over and fall in love with it.

The Boy thought he was too cool to watch it...but as he ran to change into his pj's he asked me to pause the movie. I decided NOT to tease him about it and just enjoy the moment.

Sneak Peek at the M Family

Head over to see the sneak peek from the M Family this weekend.

http://maddiepiecreations.blogspot.com

Whew...what a week!

and it's still not over.  

This week has actually been really well.  The Man has connected with a couple of companies for jobs, my contract was extended at work, I got a slight rate increase, I signed a contract to do school pictures for a local private school, I reconnected with a friend...

But it has been such an emotional couple of weeks...I am exhausted.  truly worn out.

We have searched for halloween costumes...fought with the kids...done homework, theirs and mine, and now...I'm watching an old Dane Cook standup show on Comedy Central.  He is so completely inappropriate...but so freakin' funny.

Monday The Man turns 30 so we are having two birthday parties for him this weekend..starting tomorrow night.

This weekend is so busy...ready for this

Friday night - birthday party #1 for The Man

Saturday - family pictures at 1:00, football game at 5:00, birthday party #2 at 7:00

Sunday - newborn pictures at 10:00 and....well, there is something else...but I don't know what it is just yet

and then we are back to Monday... I swear it's like a race around here sometimes.

Thank you

You know who you are. Thank you for calling me today. Thank you for reaching out and reading this blog and taking the time to call me.

I love you.

I truly hope that this is a turning point and we can continue on our journey together.

I meant it when i said i expected to be two little old ladies together. You are a part of my heart and my life.

just know that i love you, and thank you.

Update on post below

OK, i waited...really, I did....

Long enough for The Man to get me the phone number :)

We have an appt on Oct. 8...dang that's a long time. But we have an appt. That means we are one step closer to figure out what is going on and how we got here.

Update on The Boy and his heart

We know nothing. No seriously, nothing. I called last Thursday because Friday would have been a week since our dr. called us and told us to go see the ped. cardiologist. So...i waited oh so patiently for the cardiologist office to call us with an appt day. Well by the time Thursday rolled around, i wasn't patient any more.

I mean really, how long does it truly take to get an office to call you to set up an appt. Call me and tell me the appts are booked 3 and 4 weeks out...THAT i can handle. But not waiting for a call to tell me to wait for the appt.

So my dr.'s nurse called Friday morning (a week from the original call with the bad news) and said that she saw where the information had been sent over to the referral dept., but she thinks they haven't updated their system...yeah....right.

40 minutes later i get a call from the referral department, which is ironically in the same building as the doctor, and she tells me that she faxed over the paperwork...just now.

REALLY???? I know that this isn't her kid and she probably doesn't make a whole lot of money taking care of referrals...but come on!

So i confirm what she just said "so....it just got sent over today?"

"YES, i just sent it over today" with attitude

Lady...there is a part of me that hopes you got into some kind of trouble for not doing your job. I know I should rise above it and just assume that you are having a rough time and all...but really?? If my doctor brings you the information, or submits it electronically on Friday...how in the world does it take you 4 1/2 business days to get it faxed over, when you just did it in 40 minutes. Because I KNOW my doctors nurse walked over to you to find out what was going on.

So we are still waiting...I wonder if it's rude to call the cardiologist's office today??

I'll wait...for a few minutes anyway.

How do you know?

How do you know where you are supposed to go? How do you know which path you are supposed to take?

We have been presented with an opportunity that could really swing either way. Either this is a sign telling us where we are supposed to be...or it is just really ironic that it has been presented to us when we are not financially ready to make a decision. It isn't going to help us financially AT ALL...but maybe this is His way of forcing us to cut back on our frivolous lifestyle.

Honestly, I can spin it either way...

I am a big believer that everything happens for a reason. But at what point do you take that leap of faith or do you be realistic and turn down an opportunity???

Why can't we pray and hear a resounding voice in our head that says YES DO THIS OR NO THIS IS NOT YOUR TIME?

I know The Wise One tells me Short Term Sacrifices For Long Term Goals...but how do you know when it's a good idea??

Just Keep Swimming...

In trying to be positive and optimistic about all of the changes in our lives right now...I am constantly looking for things that make me smile. I was busy the other day and trying super hard to stay optimistic and strong and this popped in my head. Seriously...she cracks me up!

This is exactly how I feel most days. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming...

So in my attempt to just take things one day at a time, and put one foot in front of the other...Just keep swimming!

The Boy and his heart

I have hesitated to write anything about our current issues with The Boy and his heart, but then I decided that I love my blog and I love those that come here and read.  Not that we are super exciting, but I still love you for checking in on us.

Several weeks ago before school started The Boy had to have a physical done to participate in athletics.  Things were moving along quite nicely until the doctor rolled her chair across the room and said to me that she couldn't clear him.  HUH?  She heard a heart murmur and we would have to go to the children's hospital to have an echocardiogram done. She tells me that 90% of these murmurs are harmless.  She sent us on our merry way to wait on an appointment date.  

Last wednesday was the scheduled echo.  Everything went fine, it was an ultrasound of his heart.  It was actually pretty cool to watch.  We were told the cardiologist would review the test, write his report, and send it over to our doctor.  So we waited on a call from the doctor.

The doctor called yesterday (Friday) and said that unfortunately there was a problem indicated with the echo.  The Boy has a ventricular septal defect or more simply said, a hole in his heart.  She wanted to stress that it was a small hole. Treatment for this is dependent on the size.  Only the cardiologist can tell us how big the hole is and what the treatment will be.  There are two options, if it is small enough then they will just monitor it and leave it alone.  If it is a certain size or bigger, they will do heart surgery and put a patch on the hole.  So we are waiting for the appt with the cardiologist.

We do a lot of waiting...noticed that theme yet?

We are choosing to be very positive and believe that it will be very small and we will just monitor it closely.

In the meantime, we have chosen to take him out of all sports.  Small hole...big hole...we just can't risk anything happening to him until the cardiologist clears him.  He isn't very happy about this, but I hope that he will understand that we are doing this to keep him safe.

So say a little prayer and believe with us that it will be itty bitty.

Proud

I am so very proud of The Man. He is an amazing person and I am so blessed to be married to him. We have had some really low points in our marriage, but he always continues to rise above it all.

He recently lost his job...like last Tuesday! So we are in a funny position where we absolutely rely on his income for our family and cannot do without. We are good financially until probably late October. However, he has not let that fact stop him or delay him looking for a job.

He gets up every morning and gets the kids ready, fed and off to school. He comes home and immediately starts looking and applying for jobs. When he gets tired of looking online he goes and does some work around the house.

I swear it's better than having a nanny! I love him for making sure that everything is taken care of when I get home.

He does the laundry, cooks dinner, is currenlty working on some household repairs. He even makes my lunch for me before I leave for work everyday.

I personally would have slept for a week...but nope, he is dedicated to making sure that he is making a difference. I love him and appreciate him so much for that.

Here is a typical day looks like for him
6:45 get up and get the kids ready
7:15 make my lunch and get the kids fed breakfast
7:30 take the kids to school
8:00 starts pulling up all the job listings and local banks in the area
9:00 - 4:00 continues looking for jobs, networking, interviewing and working around the house
4:30 picks up The Girl from school and gets both kids started on homework
4:45-5:00 makes dinner
5:30 gets kids dressed for practice

this is around the time that i get home and then we go to practice and home again to take showers and go to bed.


He is applying to banking jobs primarily...but has also applied to other management jobs. He knows that he HAS to find a job and isn't too proud to do what it takes. He will work at the gas station if necessary. He will scrub toilets. He will get two jobs if need be.

I appreciate him for putting our family first and doing what it takes to find a job, but also what it takes to make things a little easier for me.

Thank you! So very much!

New Opportunity

I don't want to talk about it...because honestly i'm scared everyone will get as excited as I am right now...and then it won't happen. So I'm not going to give you the details. Just know that I have been presented with a great photography opportunity and please pray super hard that it will come to fruition!!

Hopefully, I will be able to share details soon.

Perfect People

Never let 'em see you when you're breaking
Never let 'em see you when you fall
That's how we live

and that's how we try

Tell the world you've got it all together
Never let them see what's underneath
Cover it up with a crooked smile
But it only lasts for a little while

There's no such thing as perfect people
There's no such thing as a perfect life
So come as you are, broken and scared
Lift up your heart and be amazed
And be changed by a perfect God

These are the lyrics to a song by Natalie Grant called Perfect People. I was driving home the other day and this song came on. I have heard it several times but today I listened closely to the words. It really hit home.

I am not one to share my feelings, I try really hard not to break down in front of others. I hate to cry. I don't typically vent about my problems to my co-workers unless its about my kids. I never intentionally tried to be this way...I just always figured that me complaining about really didn't make it any better and why would others want to hear me moan and groan.

With everything that is going on in our family's life right now I feel as though I have to be even stronger. I do it naturally. I am the one in any situation that can keep it together. That's my job.

I remember being in high school, pregnant, and in a car wreck and with 3 other girls. I was the calm one. I was the one reassuring everyone. I should have gone to the hospital but I knew my families financial situation and chose to believe that everything would be ok with the baby.

I remember sitting in a hospital bed in the emergency room with my four year old after his head had been busted open. He's screaming and scared to death and I crawled up in the bed with him and held him while the proceeded to stitch up his forehead. I was calm, I was in control.

I'm not always the calm one though, I do have my moments where I really loose it. But I try to keep those to a minimum. I am the friend that you can cry to, complain to, talk it out with. I am the one that is responsible and reliable.

A couple of years ago a girl I worked with told me she admired me because I was so put together and in control of things. She thought I could handle anything. I remember thinking she was absolutely crazy because my life is out of control. I feel like I am a big scrambled mess. What did she mean?? It was then that I realized that I was really good at appearing to have it all under control.

What she didn't know...inside my head, it's a crazy place. It's full of tears and screaming and laughing...and every other emotion you can imagine.

As the song says, There's no such thing as perfect people, and I know this...I don't view myself as perfect, in fact I am the first one to tell you that I am so far from it.

Recent conversations have made me wish I was a better communicator. I wish I relied on others a little more. I want to let down that wall a little bit, really I do...

But what if you don't see me as having it all together...

Work from home

The Girl cracks me up...almost daily.  Tonight as I sit here and work on my homework and The Man looks for a job on the other computer, she comes in and asks him why he is always looking for bank jobs.  He just kinda looks at her funny and this is the conversation that followed:

The Man: ...because i'm a banker??

The Girl: Yeah, but I don't want you to work at a bank, I want you to stay home so you can pick me up from parent pick up every day from school.

The Man: I have to get a job honey or we can't afford to pay for anything

The Girl: Well, why can't you just work from home...you know, get a work computer and do your work from home.

She cracks me up and it really makes me appreciate her innocence.

Support a good cause

Please pass this link around...Photographers around the country are uniting to raise money for research. Head on over to MaddiePie Creations to get more info and join me in making a difference!!

MaddiePie Creations Blog

Re-writing songs

Music is such a big influence in my family. It is weird to me that people don't listen to music in their cars. It is wonderful to turn on the satellite radio on the TV during dinner instead of TV. I love music and because of that my kids love music. The Boy has really found a passion for music and is currently using the trombone for that outlet.

The Girl...well she sings. She LOVES to sing. She doesn't sing very well...but she sings with all her might. And I love her for that.

Now keep in mind she is 8. There are PLENTY of songs that are not appropriate for her to sing. As we are standing in the bathroom this morning she starts singing this song..(sidenote: we like country, so if you don't, you won't know this song) "I gave up smokin', women, drinkin'...it was the best 15 minutes of my life"

Me: "Whoa! Honey, I don't think that is a very good song for you to be singing. "
The Girl: "Sure it is mommy, it is about becoming drug free!"

- God love her...she is completely convinced that what the song is all about.

Me: "Yes, but honey...I just don't think it's very appropriate"

The Girl: "OK! "I got my toes in the water..." (this song starts)
Me: "WOW! Not that one either"
The Girl: "No mommy, Daddy said it was ok. You know, the song that says "toes in the water, somethin' in the sand"?"
Me: yes
The Girl: "Well daddy said I could say "Toes in the Water, Toes in the Sand""
Me: "well, ok. that is fine"

So she goes right back to singing as loud as she can with all of her heart. I'm just laughing at her sweet innocence...

The Girl: "I got my toes in the water, toes in the sand. not a worry in the world a cold beer in my hand...."

Me: "Wait! How about a cold DRINK in my hand?? That might be better than BEER??"

The Girl: Big sigh..."okay!"



It really is kinda funny to listen to her sing songs that are on the radio. She either makes up her own words because what she hears is COMPLETELY different than what is actually being said, and sometimes that's a good thing. Or we have to re-write the songs because they use inappropriate words. ~All in a days work!


Later this morning, I recount this message to The Man. He starts laughing and says they heard the Toes in the Water song yesterday in the car and he belted out "I got my toes in the water" and she followed suit with "Ass in the sand"...stopped abrubtly and got a little scared because she said a bad word. She then proceeded to blame it on him because he started it, meaning he started singing that part. He told her that he didn't make her sing that line...and that is when they determined that it should be "Toes in the Water, Toes in the Sand".

Gotta love them!

1st day of school...done!

I wonder how long the newness will last of school starting again.

Today is day two of the school year. Both kids still jumped right out of bed, got dressed, ate breakfast, The Girl had to change clothes, brushed teeth, brushed hair, put on deoderant (an ABSOLUTE must), and were ready to go in plenty of time. The Boy has decided he wants to try the whole bus thing again, and sure enough he was out the door in plenty of time.

So how long do you REALLY think it's going to last?

First day was a good day for both. The Girl didn't really have too much to say about it, for her it was more about seeing her friends. The Boy had LOTS to say...here's a recap

~ One of his teachers...he can't figure out how to say her name, is REALLY BORING!
~ He has to have his physical completed by Friday or he gets removed from Athletics...I'm working on it people!!
~ He made it into the Advanced Band (A) ...I don't really know what the (A) is, but apparently it's a big deal. He is one of five trombones and only two of the five are 7th graders...Woo Hoo!!


So one day down...and it was a success!

Do you hear that??

No...you don't hear that? Hmmm...oh wait, that is silence. That is the sound of my cell phone not ringing 18 times a day. That is the sound of my children not fighting with each other. Ahhh...it's a great sound.

Today was their first day of school. I walked The Girl in to her class (which is ALL the way at the end of the building) and got her supplies put up. She was trying to look cool, special, and hot stuff all the way to her class. I know she was looking to see if she saw any of her friends. By the time we got to her class she could barely contain herself. She was almost frantic trying to take it all in. She gave me a great big hug before I left...and it was then that I remembered that she loves me. Through it all...she loves me.

After the million mile walk back to my car it was The Boy's turn to be dropped off at school. He insisted I drop him off at the corner. WHAT??? No...that wouldn't be ANY kind of fun. I proceeded to tell him that, No, I wouldn't be dropping him off at the corner. I was going to park and walk him in also (sidenote: he's in 7th grade this year) and before leaving I was going to plant a great big smacker on his cheek! Wait...where's my lipstick?? "Mawwwwwmmmmmm, no! please please please don't go in" (insert evil mom laughter here)

So I relented, I dropped him off in front of the school. But you know what?? He climbed over to my seat and gave me a kiss on the cheek. He loves me too.

I hope they have great days today. This is the beginning of another fun filled year. I can't wait to see what they learn, what they accomplish, what they are capable of. It's going to be a great year.

...and they love me

A note to The Girl's Teacher

I am hoping the teacher wants some insight into the girl...I would.

Good morning,

I hope you are ready for school to start tomorrow, I know The Girl sure is. I wanted to take a moment and send you an email about her. I am never really sure if the teachers sit down or leave notes for future teachers…although I think it is a GREAT idea. Here a couple of things you should probably know about The Girl…


1. She is a talker. I promise you the only time she doesn’t talk is in her sleep. It’s been that way since she was a baby and it has only progressed since then. She will wear you out with it, but she is pretty funny to listen to.

2. She has a heart of gold. She is a pleaser. Not only does she want to make the kids laugh, but she wants to make you happy as well. If she knows you are pleased with her, she will work wonders for you.

3. #2 seems to get in the way a lot, because she REALLY wants her friends to think she is funny, cool, and the life of the party. She has a hard time knowing when to draw the line.

4. She has a problem lying. She does it instinctually. It is her first reaction…even over something so very little that it doesn’t make sense. We have worked and worked and worked on this. But it continues.

5. She is incredibly smart…I know, I’m her mom and I am biased. But when she is bored…this is when she is going to act out. I know this is typical with a lot of kids, just please keep it in mind. She loves to help and feel special…if you can help her find a way to help you, it will cut down on a lot of the problems.

6. She needs structure, and a strong willed teacher. She needs tough love.


Have I scared you yet? I just wanted you to know a little about her before the year gets started. She will love you so very much, but please know that she will test you in every way you can imagine and then she might even find a new way.

I am so very willing to work with you in every way possible. Please let me know what you need from me to help make the year successful. I am always open to suggestions and always willing to try something new.

Signed...Crazy mom (ok, not really. I didn't sign it like this, but it is pretty true.)

MaddiePie Creations - Mini-Session {tutu}

Don't forget the little ones in all the hub bub of back to school. Book a mini-session for that sweet little girl!

Click HERE for the details!!

Cry Babies

I have the cry babies today. I HATE to cry. I really really hate to cry. For no good reason. Maybe tired, maybe stressed, maybe hormonal...maybe all the above.

I just left a meeting with my boss and seriously teared up twice. How embarressing! Fortunately she is a girl...but still.

I have GOT to get a grip.

Water Challenge

I do NOT drink enough water. In fact, I really don't ever drink water. Don't like it, and sure don't have the time it takes to go to the bathroom if I drink a lot of it.

I know I know, try squeezing a lemon in it...I don't like that either. That just tastes like watered down lemonade.

So Crystal Light has started a water challenge and if you see above, you will see the widget that helps me track how much water i'm drinking. I am ALL for fun stuff, so maybe this will make me want to do it. Maybe...

Wish me luck - you can follow along with me or you can join in the fun too. Click here if you want to learn more.

by the way...I think they should have a "trips to the bathroom" widget. :)

The phone

Well...we had to take The Boy's cell phone away from him...and lo and behold he became a great, normal, kid that is part of the family. This weekend we will lay out the new rules and he has this week to prove to us that he can be responsible. He now understands that one more lapse back into Mr. Hateful will cause him to lose his phone for good....FOREVER. Well, at least until he can pay for it.

Took him to get his physical today, hellooooo awkward. I had to stay in there as the chaperone since the dr. was a female. HOLY MOLY!! Not a fun place for The Boy, or for mom.

Turns out The Boy does have some things going on that require further testing, but we are choosing to remain positive and believe that everything is going to be just fine.

He also grew another 1/2 inch in 6 weeks. Woo Hoo!! Finally catching up to the other boys his age.

So with that little nugget of good news...I'm going back to work. Hopefully we will now find the balance between The Boy with cell phone and The Boy without cell phone.

Rope

How many times can I be at the end of my rope?? I hate that I don't like my kids right now. Don't get me wrong...Love them...but seriously, this is getting ridiculous.

How is it that when The Boy is getting in trouble, I take his phone away for punishment and he becomes this great kid...I give it back because he proved he can be good and he becomes a BUTT. He gets this "I'm hot $#!% attitude". It has become a vicious cycle and I have no idea how to stop it.

The Girl...oh LORD! Her lying and her defiance...and just her overall demeanor. It makes me a freakin basket case.

something has to change...but what??

You have to really know my kids to truly understand. These are two kids that don't respond to punishment, not spanking, not taking things that matter them, not guilt, not talking to them, not time out, not...anything.

I am barely holding on to the end of the rope...in fact some days i think they have tied it in a noose and are quietly slipping it over my head.

MaddiePie Creations - check it out!

Two blogs is getting a little tough :) I may eventually settle on just one...but for now, go check out the MaddiePie Creations blog. Pics from the wedding were posted over the weekend.

Summer Days

Summer is quickly coming to an end...well at least the days of no school is coming to an end. It's still crazy hot.



We are fortunate to have a pool (although i don't think i'll ever be able to sell the house because of it) and we get occassional visitors. We live in a new neighborhood so we have no trees, so the visitors aren't usually to yucky.



But we still have to go frog hunting every once in a while....

Uncertainty

It's funny to me sometimes how life can be moving along and then it feels as though you have slammed into a brick wall of uncertainty. It definately makes me wish I was a better money manager so that I could afford to not have to rely on working full time.

While my job situation has been chaotic over the last year to say the least, it hasn't ever really been all that stressful. I have always believed that it would work out...and thankfully, it always has.

The Man's job has been a rollercoaster for the last 2 years. It literally can change from day to day and sometimes several times within a day. He works for someone who I SWEAR has to be bi-polar or have some other mental unstability. The last 2 months have gotten extraordinarily bad and we feel as though The Man can no longer 'ride it out' and wait for things to get better. So we have started the process of him looking for a job. Obviously not the best time because of the economy, but it still must be done.

We are both trying so desperately to hold on to faith and believe that something will come along. Even if it is not what we hope for, something is going to happen and we choose to believe that something good will come out of it.

As he searched for jobs online at our desk and I sat on the bed working on homework last night, I could see the defeat all over him. He is so great at what he does and he has such a gift for teaching people...but how do you transfer that into a new industry. All he knows is banking. It's all he has ever done. After a while he snuggled up next to me and it broke my heart because I know he is loosing hope for finding something great. We are both so stressed out and it is so hard to hold each other up when we both feel so weak.

We are at a funny place because we moved here and made so much more money than we were making before and we just racked up a ton of debt. Now we are having to figure out ways to get it all paid down so that these things don't control our lives. There is so much we want to do, including my photography business, but can't seem to figure out how to get there financially.

Maybe this is His way of getting us back on track.

It's been a busy week

Last week was crazy...so very busy. Good, but busy. The hooligans were out of town and it was a much needed break for all 4 of us. MUCH NEEDED.


Between trying to wrap up the last week of my ethics class and working full time (and a week of date nights :) ) I had several photography related things going on too. I did the bridal shoot, a family shoot, and squeezed in a couple of lovebirds at the same time. This weekend was the wedding and while I wasn't the "official" photographer for the wedding, I still took some amazing shots...those are to come next week. But for now, here are some of my favorites over the last week.