September 27, 2009

Woo! What a weekend

This weekend was jam packed..and I am exhausted. It is 8:00pm and I am currently trying to figure out how to go to sleep without anyone noticing.

Yesterday, The Girl had two softball games and a football game to cheer. Then both kids spent the night with some friends. This morning started off with a baby shoot and then a boudoir shoot this afternoon. Super super busy.

Right now we are watching The Wizard Of Oz. Did you know this movie was made in 1939??? That just seems crazy to me. The Man told the kids tonight that Nanny & Papa grew up watching this movie. That really blew my mind. It's funny how we don't think of those things. It's hard to imagine a movie has stood the test of time like this one and still makes little kids glaze over and fall in love with it.

The Boy thought he was too cool to watch it...but as he ran to change into his pj's he asked me to pause the movie. I decided NOT to tease him about it and just enjoy the moment.

September 20, 2009

Sneak Peek at the M Family

Head over to see the sneak peek from the M Family this weekend.

September 17, 2009

Whew...what a week!

and it's still not over.  

This week has actually been really well.  The Man has connected with a couple of companies for jobs, my contract was extended at work, I got a slight rate increase, I signed a contract to do school pictures for a local private school, I reconnected with a friend...

But it has been such an emotional couple of weeks...I am exhausted.  truly worn out.

We have searched for halloween costumes...fought with the kids...done homework, theirs and mine, and now...I'm watching an old Dane Cook standup show on Comedy Central.  He is so completely inappropriate...but so freakin' funny.

Monday The Man turns 30 so we are having two birthday parties for him this weekend..starting tomorrow night.

This weekend is so busy...ready for this
Friday night - birthday party #1 for The Man
Saturday - family pictures at 1:00, football game at 5:00, birthday party #2 at 7:00
Sunday - newborn pictures at 10:00 and....well, there is something else...but I don't know what it is just yet

and then we are back to Monday... I swear it's like a race around here sometimes.

Thank you

You know who you are. Thank you for calling me today. Thank you for reaching out and reading this blog and taking the time to call me.

I love you.

I truly hope that this is a turning point and we can continue on our journey together.

I meant it when i said i expected to be two little old ladies together. You are a part of my heart and my life.

just know that i love you, and thank you.

September 14, 2009

Update on post below

OK, i waited...really, I did....

Long enough for The Man to get me the phone number :)

We have an appt on Oct. 8...dang that's a long time. But we have an appt. That means we are one step closer to figure out what is going on and how we got here.

Update on The Boy and his heart

We know nothing. No seriously, nothing. I called last Thursday because Friday would have been a week since our dr. called us and told us to go see the ped. cardiologist. So...i waited oh so patiently for the cardiologist office to call us with an appt day. Well by the time Thursday rolled around, i wasn't patient any more.

I mean really, how long does it truly take to get an office to call you to set up an appt. Call me and tell me the appts are booked 3 and 4 weeks out...THAT i can handle. But not waiting for a call to tell me to wait for the appt.

So my dr.'s nurse called Friday morning (a week from the original call with the bad news) and said that she saw where the information had been sent over to the referral dept., but she thinks they haven't updated their system...yeah....right.

40 minutes later i get a call from the referral department, which is ironically in the same building as the doctor, and she tells me that she faxed over the paperwork...just now.

REALLY???? I know that this isn't her kid and she probably doesn't make a whole lot of money taking care of referrals...but come on!

So i confirm what she just said " just got sent over today?"

"YES, i just sent it over today" with attitude

Lady...there is a part of me that hopes you got into some kind of trouble for not doing your job. I know I should rise above it and just assume that you are having a rough time and all...but really?? If my doctor brings you the information, or submits it electronically on in the world does it take you 4 1/2 business days to get it faxed over, when you just did it in 40 minutes. Because I KNOW my doctors nurse walked over to you to find out what was going on.

So we are still waiting...I wonder if it's rude to call the cardiologist's office today??

I'll wait...for a few minutes anyway.

How do you know?

How do you know where you are supposed to go? How do you know which path you are supposed to take?

We have been presented with an opportunity that could really swing either way. Either this is a sign telling us where we are supposed to be...or it is just really ironic that it has been presented to us when we are not financially ready to make a decision. It isn't going to help us financially AT ALL...but maybe this is His way of forcing us to cut back on our frivolous lifestyle.

Honestly, I can spin it either way...

I am a big believer that everything happens for a reason. But at what point do you take that leap of faith or do you be realistic and turn down an opportunity???

Why can't we pray and hear a resounding voice in our head that says YES DO THIS OR NO THIS IS NOT YOUR TIME?

I know The Wise One tells me Short Term Sacrifices For Long Term Goals...but how do you know when it's a good idea??

September 8, 2009

Just Keep Swimming...

In trying to be positive and optimistic about all of the changes in our lives right now...I am constantly looking for things that make me smile. I was busy the other day and trying super hard to stay optimistic and strong and this popped in my head. Seriously...she cracks me up!

This is exactly how I feel most days. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming...

So in my attempt to just take things one day at a time, and put one foot in front of the other...Just keep swimming!

September 5, 2009

The Boy and his heart

I have hesitated to write anything about our current issues with The Boy and his heart, but then I decided that I love my blog and I love those that come here and read.  Not that we are super exciting, but I still love you for checking in on us.

Several weeks ago before school started The Boy had to have a physical done to participate in athletics.  Things were moving along quite nicely until the doctor rolled her chair across the room and said to me that she couldn't clear him.  HUH?  She heard a heart murmur and we would have to go to the children's hospital to have an echocardiogram done. She tells me that 90% of these murmurs are harmless.  She sent us on our merry way to wait on an appointment date.  

Last wednesday was the scheduled echo.  Everything went fine, it was an ultrasound of his heart.  It was actually pretty cool to watch.  We were told the cardiologist would review the test, write his report, and send it over to our doctor.  So we waited on a call from the doctor.

The doctor called yesterday (Friday) and said that unfortunately there was a problem indicated with the echo.  The Boy has a ventricular septal defect or more simply said, a hole in his heart.  She wanted to stress that it was a small hole. Treatment for this is dependent on the size.  Only the cardiologist can tell us how big the hole is and what the treatment will be.  There are two options, if it is small enough then they will just monitor it and leave it alone.  If it is a certain size or bigger, they will do heart surgery and put a patch on the hole.  So we are waiting for the appt with the cardiologist.

We do a lot of waiting...noticed that theme yet?

We are choosing to be very positive and believe that it will be very small and we will just monitor it closely.

In the meantime, we have chosen to take him out of all sports.  Small hole...big hole...we just can't risk anything happening to him until the cardiologist clears him.  He isn't very happy about this, but I hope that he will understand that we are doing this to keep him safe.

So say a little prayer and believe with us that it will be itty bitty.

September 4, 2009


I am so very proud of The Man. He is an amazing person and I am so blessed to be married to him. We have had some really low points in our marriage, but he always continues to rise above it all.

He recently lost his last Tuesday! So we are in a funny position where we absolutely rely on his income for our family and cannot do without. We are good financially until probably late October. However, he has not let that fact stop him or delay him looking for a job.

He gets up every morning and gets the kids ready, fed and off to school. He comes home and immediately starts looking and applying for jobs. When he gets tired of looking online he goes and does some work around the house.

I swear it's better than having a nanny! I love him for making sure that everything is taken care of when I get home.

He does the laundry, cooks dinner, is currenlty working on some household repairs. He even makes my lunch for me before I leave for work everyday.

I personally would have slept for a week...but nope, he is dedicated to making sure that he is making a difference. I love him and appreciate him so much for that.

Here is a typical day looks like for him
6:45 get up and get the kids ready
7:15 make my lunch and get the kids fed breakfast
7:30 take the kids to school
8:00 starts pulling up all the job listings and local banks in the area
9:00 - 4:00 continues looking for jobs, networking, interviewing and working around the house
4:30 picks up The Girl from school and gets both kids started on homework
4:45-5:00 makes dinner
5:30 gets kids dressed for practice

this is around the time that i get home and then we go to practice and home again to take showers and go to bed.

He is applying to banking jobs primarily...but has also applied to other management jobs. He knows that he HAS to find a job and isn't too proud to do what it takes. He will work at the gas station if necessary. He will scrub toilets. He will get two jobs if need be.

I appreciate him for putting our family first and doing what it takes to find a job, but also what it takes to make things a little easier for me.

Thank you! So very much!

New Opportunity

I don't want to talk about it...because honestly i'm scared everyone will get as excited as I am right now...and then it won't happen. So I'm not going to give you the details. Just know that I have been presented with a great photography opportunity and please pray super hard that it will come to fruition!!

Hopefully, I will be able to share details soon.

September 2, 2009

Perfect People

Never let 'em see you when you're breaking
Never let 'em see you when you fall
That's how we live
and that's how we try
Tell the world you've got it all together
Never let them see what's underneath
Cover it up with a crooked smile
But it only lasts for a little while

There's no such thing as perfect people
There's no such thing as a perfect life
So come as you are, broken and scared
Lift up your heart and be amazed
And be changed by a perfect God

These are the lyrics to a song by Natalie Grant called Perfect People. I was driving home the other day and this song came on. I have heard it several times but today I listened closely to the words. It really hit home.
I am not one to share my feelings, I try really hard not to break down in front of others. I hate to cry. I don't typically vent about my problems to my co-workers unless its about my kids. I never intentionally tried to be this way...I just always figured that me complaining about really didn't make it any better and why would others want to hear me moan and groan.
With everything that is going on in our family's life right now I feel as though I have to be even stronger. I do it naturally. I am the one in any situation that can keep it together. That's my job.
I remember being in high school, pregnant, and in a car wreck and with 3 other girls. I was the calm one. I was the one reassuring everyone. I should have gone to the hospital but I knew my families financial situation and chose to believe that everything would be ok with the baby.
I remember sitting in a hospital bed in the emergency room with my four year old after his head had been busted open. He's screaming and scared to death and I crawled up in the bed with him and held him while the proceeded to stitch up his forehead. I was calm, I was in control.
I'm not always the calm one though, I do have my moments where I really loose it. But I try to keep those to a minimum. I am the friend that you can cry to, complain to, talk it out with. I am the one that is responsible and reliable.
A couple of years ago a girl I worked with told me she admired me because I was so put together and in control of things. She thought I could handle anything. I remember thinking she was absolutely crazy because my life is out of control. I feel like I am a big scrambled mess. What did she mean?? It was then that I realized that I was really good at appearing to have it all under control.
What she didn't know...inside my head, it's a crazy place. It's full of tears and screaming and laughing...and every other emotion you can imagine.
As the song says, There's no such thing as perfect people, and I know this...I don't view myself as perfect, in fact I am the first one to tell you that I am so far from it.
Recent conversations have made me wish I was a better communicator. I wish I relied on others a little more. I want to let down that wall a little bit, really I do...
But what if you don't see me as having it all together...