So sleepy

Good grief I am sleepy. I mean, seriously - I could just lay my head over on my desk and sleep for a while. That's pretty much all i want to do anymore, just sleep. I get so excited for the moments where I can just be and close my eyes. I'm just so dang tired.

I have never slept very well...i have no idea why, perhaps its the ADD. But regardless, I just don't sleep very well. I have NO problem going to sleep. In fact, the poor Man knows that if I sit down for too long in the evenings, I'm going straight to sleep. However, once we go to bed, that's pretty much the end of it. I would say that I wake up probably 7 or 8 times a night. For no reason, just because something in my head/body wakes up and that's that. I have tried, Ambien (which is awesome stuff), Tylenol PM, Advil PM, and now i'm taking Melatonin. It is good for going to sleep quickly - which comes in handy when I drink an energy drink to late in the day, but still no good in the middle of the night.

I think it is funny that the doctors tell you that sleep aids, such as Ambien, can be addictive. I now it's not funny...but seriously, let's think about it:

1. I go to the doctor because i'm not sleeping
2. Doctor gives me Ambien but tells me it can be addictive and I can't take it too long
3. Go home, take Ambien...sleep like a ROCK!
4. Stop taking Ambien...don't sleep
5. Go back to taking Ambien...sleep like a ROCK

So, here is what is funny - how do you know if you are addicted to it? You can't sleep without it? Well...isn't that the WHOLE reason you started taking it???


And then there are the dreams... I have ALWAYS been a person who has incredibly vivid dreams. My dreams shake me to the core some times, more times than not. I can dream, and wake up and remember every little detail. Unfortunately, they typically are not "good" dreams. But, it's always been that way. Last night was no different. The dream I had was about The Girl and it took me most of the morning to shake the bad feelings I had. If there was one thing I could wish for, for my children, it would be that they do not have such vivid dreams like I do. At least if they are going to, I wish for them to be happy dreams and allow them to wake up feeling good.

Well...off to go find more caffeine... lots more work to do today.