August 11, 2009


It's funny to me sometimes how life can be moving along and then it feels as though you have slammed into a brick wall of uncertainty. It definately makes me wish I was a better money manager so that I could afford to not have to rely on working full time.

While my job situation has been chaotic over the last year to say the least, it hasn't ever really been all that stressful. I have always believed that it would work out...and thankfully, it always has.

The Man's job has been a rollercoaster for the last 2 years. It literally can change from day to day and sometimes several times within a day. He works for someone who I SWEAR has to be bi-polar or have some other mental unstability. The last 2 months have gotten extraordinarily bad and we feel as though The Man can no longer 'ride it out' and wait for things to get better. So we have started the process of him looking for a job. Obviously not the best time because of the economy, but it still must be done.

We are both trying so desperately to hold on to faith and believe that something will come along. Even if it is not what we hope for, something is going to happen and we choose to believe that something good will come out of it.

As he searched for jobs online at our desk and I sat on the bed working on homework last night, I could see the defeat all over him. He is so great at what he does and he has such a gift for teaching people...but how do you transfer that into a new industry. All he knows is banking. It's all he has ever done. After a while he snuggled up next to me and it broke my heart because I know he is loosing hope for finding something great. We are both so stressed out and it is so hard to hold each other up when we both feel so weak.

We are at a funny place because we moved here and made so much more money than we were making before and we just racked up a ton of debt. Now we are having to figure out ways to get it all paid down so that these things don't control our lives. There is so much we want to do, including my photography business, but can't seem to figure out how to get there financially.

Maybe this is His way of getting us back on track.