April 29, 2009

Sleepless nights

OK, so seriously...I really need to get some sleep. If it's not one thing or another I have had so many sleepless nights.  Last night it was the photography.  The Man and I started talking about what is going on right now and what possible avenues we can go down.  Photography has become an overwhelming passion...maybe even an addiction.  I can get lost in blog land looking at picture and reading about other's experiences.  I have a burning desire to jump into this full force.  After this weekend I will have made enough to buy my next lens.  After that...some new software, then the indoor studio.  I am so close...and yet still so far away.  I can taste it.  It consumes almost every thought.  

I have a tendency to doubt myself.  I look at other photos and I think...my pictures are SOOOO much better.  But then I come back to my usual go-to photog blogs and I get overwhelmed with...mine are SOOOO not near what their quality is.  I see what other photogs are charging and just don't feel comfortable charging those prices.  How do they get there?  What gives them the power to feel confident that people will pay those prices??  The questions tend to take over and bog me down.

But little by little...I am growing. I am getting better.  I look at my pictures and sometimes really amaze myself.  

I am trying to have faith in myself...but it is hard.  It is hard to not let the little voices inside take over.  It's hard to believe that I can do this.  But my champions keep on...they keep believing...they keep pushing...and out of nowhere...someone else wants to book a shoot with me.

So I keep fighting...and I keep trying...and I keep learning...and I keep looking for the approval...and ... I keep finding it.

1 Comment:

Anonymous Bloggette said...

I've tagged you!