April 6, 2009

It has been a crazy week or so.  Work has spiraled out of control, the kids sports are kicking my rear end, we are just so busy and I swear sometimes I am not treading water as well as I would like.  

We got together with some friends this past weekend and it reminded me how much i missed them.  It also reminded me that I hate not being enough.  It breaks my heart that we are not fun enough, not pretty enough, not crazy enough, just not enough in general.  I wonder if I will ever be enough?

I have had a really good thing going with the photography.  I have a little boy scheduled for his easter/1 year old pictures this weekend, a family shoot in tulsa next weekend, two soccer teams the following weekend and a quinceneara two weekends after that.  I am so excited and really just cannot wait to get all of these under way.  I am so blessed that a great friend thought of me for her son's soccer team pictures...because really?? who likes the boring old team pictures that they schedule.  So not only will I get to do their pics, but the coach also has another team that he wants me to shoot.  I am so blessed and really feel like this is where my path is taking me.  Maybe one day it will be a full time gig!!

Work kinda took a nose dive this past week, but I am trying to be proactive about it and make the best out of the situation.  I think this will be the first time that I have ever had two jobs.  But that is ok...as The Wise One has always told me "short term sacrifices for long term goals".  And while I dont really HAVE to get a 2nd job, we are trying really hard to pay down our debt and this will help me stay that course.

I talked to an old friend tonight and after I hung up the phone my heart was sad.  She is still grieving so much for her mother and we have really drifted apart.  I truly wish there was something that I could say that would help hear her heart...make her find her "Joy" again.  I honestly can't imagine the things she has dealt with over the last year.  Coming up in July will be the one year anniversary of when they found out that her mother was terribly ill...and a week after that will be the one year anniversary of finding out that her son had lead poisoning.  He, by the way, is doing much better.  He still has to be tested very often, but he is so close to being completely better.  She should get his latest test results this week and that will let them know how much longer they must have him tested.  I miss her.  I miss being able to laugh about things together.  I miss...I just miss her.  I miss seeing them, I miss hugging her, I miss the carefree relationship we had.  I know it is not fair of me, and I would never want her to feel bad, because I understand that she has to find her way thru all of this.  But I miss her.

OK, The Man needs me.  Must get off the computer.  Good night and may tomorrow be filled with nothing but goodness.