MaddiePie Creations - Mini-Session {tutu}

Don't forget the little ones in all the hub bub of back to school. Book a mini-session for that sweet little girl!

Click HERE for the details!!

Cry Babies

I have the cry babies today. I HATE to cry. I really really hate to cry. For no good reason. Maybe tired, maybe stressed, maybe hormonal...maybe all the above.

I just left a meeting with my boss and seriously teared up twice. How embarressing! Fortunately she is a girl...but still.

I have GOT to get a grip.

Water Challenge

I do NOT drink enough water. In fact, I really don't ever drink water. Don't like it, and sure don't have the time it takes to go to the bathroom if I drink a lot of it.

I know I know, try squeezing a lemon in it...I don't like that either. That just tastes like watered down lemonade.

So Crystal Light has started a water challenge and if you see above, you will see the widget that helps me track how much water i'm drinking. I am ALL for fun stuff, so maybe this will make me want to do it. Maybe...

Wish me luck - you can follow along with me or you can join in the fun too. Click here if you want to learn more.

by the way...I think they should have a "trips to the bathroom" widget. :)

The phone

Well...we had to take The Boy's cell phone away from him...and lo and behold he became a great, normal, kid that is part of the family. This weekend we will lay out the new rules and he has this week to prove to us that he can be responsible. He now understands that one more lapse back into Mr. Hateful will cause him to lose his phone for good....FOREVER. Well, at least until he can pay for it.

Took him to get his physical today, hellooooo awkward. I had to stay in there as the chaperone since the dr. was a female. HOLY MOLY!! Not a fun place for The Boy, or for mom.

Turns out The Boy does have some things going on that require further testing, but we are choosing to remain positive and believe that everything is going to be just fine.

He also grew another 1/2 inch in 6 weeks. Woo Hoo!! Finally catching up to the other boys his age.

So with that little nugget of good news...I'm going back to work. Hopefully we will now find the balance between The Boy with cell phone and The Boy without cell phone.

Rope

How many times can I be at the end of my rope?? I hate that I don't like my kids right now. Don't get me wrong...Love them...but seriously, this is getting ridiculous.

How is it that when The Boy is getting in trouble, I take his phone away for punishment and he becomes this great kid...I give it back because he proved he can be good and he becomes a BUTT. He gets this "I'm hot $#!% attitude". It has become a vicious cycle and I have no idea how to stop it.

The Girl...oh LORD! Her lying and her defiance...and just her overall demeanor. It makes me a freakin basket case.

something has to change...but what??

You have to really know my kids to truly understand. These are two kids that don't respond to punishment, not spanking, not taking things that matter them, not guilt, not talking to them, not time out, not...anything.

I am barely holding on to the end of the rope...in fact some days i think they have tied it in a noose and are quietly slipping it over my head.

MaddiePie Creations - check it out!

Two blogs is getting a little tough :) I may eventually settle on just one...but for now, go check out the MaddiePie Creations blog. Pics from the wedding were posted over the weekend.

Summer Days

Summer is quickly coming to an end...well at least the days of no school is coming to an end. It's still crazy hot.



We are fortunate to have a pool (although i don't think i'll ever be able to sell the house because of it) and we get occassional visitors. We live in a new neighborhood so we have no trees, so the visitors aren't usually to yucky.



But we still have to go frog hunting every once in a while....

Uncertainty

It's funny to me sometimes how life can be moving along and then it feels as though you have slammed into a brick wall of uncertainty. It definately makes me wish I was a better money manager so that I could afford to not have to rely on working full time.

While my job situation has been chaotic over the last year to say the least, it hasn't ever really been all that stressful. I have always believed that it would work out...and thankfully, it always has.

The Man's job has been a rollercoaster for the last 2 years. It literally can change from day to day and sometimes several times within a day. He works for someone who I SWEAR has to be bi-polar or have some other mental unstability. The last 2 months have gotten extraordinarily bad and we feel as though The Man can no longer 'ride it out' and wait for things to get better. So we have started the process of him looking for a job. Obviously not the best time because of the economy, but it still must be done.

We are both trying so desperately to hold on to faith and believe that something will come along. Even if it is not what we hope for, something is going to happen and we choose to believe that something good will come out of it.

As he searched for jobs online at our desk and I sat on the bed working on homework last night, I could see the defeat all over him. He is so great at what he does and he has such a gift for teaching people...but how do you transfer that into a new industry. All he knows is banking. It's all he has ever done. After a while he snuggled up next to me and it broke my heart because I know he is loosing hope for finding something great. We are both so stressed out and it is so hard to hold each other up when we both feel so weak.

We are at a funny place because we moved here and made so much more money than we were making before and we just racked up a ton of debt. Now we are having to figure out ways to get it all paid down so that these things don't control our lives. There is so much we want to do, including my photography business, but can't seem to figure out how to get there financially.

Maybe this is His way of getting us back on track.

It's been a busy week

Last week was crazy...so very busy. Good, but busy. The hooligans were out of town and it was a much needed break for all 4 of us. MUCH NEEDED.


Between trying to wrap up the last week of my ethics class and working full time (and a week of date nights :) ) I had several photography related things going on too. I did the bridal shoot, a family shoot, and squeezed in a couple of lovebirds at the same time. This weekend was the wedding and while I wasn't the "official" photographer for the wedding, I still took some amazing shots...those are to come next week. But for now, here are some of my favorites over the last week.

Thoughts

If you haven't noticed by now...I have LOTS of thoughts going on in my head, it's crazy in here. It's all very random and if you are a friend on my facebook you will see that there is a constant musical soundtrack going on in there...It's really funny when everyone "sings" along with your status - LOVE IT!

But recently I have a lot of thoughts about my photography. I want to make that leap but financially we are not in a position where I can just jump in with both feet. I finally got the camera and lenses that I needed, now I just need to get the studio created...but of course, that takes money and time. Both of which I currently am NOT in excess of.

It's kinda funny because when I think about it...it really isn't going to take that much money. But it's money nonetheless. So I have decided to just make a list of the things I need and slowly start checking them off. I am putting that list here, because it helps me be accountable.

So here we go. Things I need to create the indoor studio:


- curtains to block of the room to the upstairs
- floatable hardwood floor
- background stand
- seamless paper rolls - white, black, and gray
- light kit
- futon type mattress
- white linens
- fuzzy blankets
- funky colorful chairs..just one or two
- curtains for the windows (white sheer type)


OK, so that is what I need to get started...and then of course some fun props, but those can wait. The 1st half of the list are the essentials to get started, the 2nd 1/2 of the list are the things that needed to be added VERY soon.


As I think thru these things I have to stop and wonder, ok so what type of photography am I going to do in the studio. I don't want to do families up there because I think families in a studio are too stuffy and doesn't capture the essence of the family. I visualize some kids photography and perhaps some boudoir sessions. I have so many ideas floating around in my head and really want to get them out and materialized into some pictures.


I have also been thinking alot about my photography in general. I think I have spent so much time blog stalking other photographers and trying to recreate their techniques that I have lost the style that I want to have. I have gone into the last couple of sessions and have been so preoccupied with trying to get the images that I have seen on other blogs that it has become too stressful. I think I need to take a few steps back and re-evaluate what I want my images to accomplish. How I want to portray my photography style.

I have a family shoot coming up this week and I am absolutely terrified because I feel as though I have no idea what to do, how to communicate with them, how to make them feel comfortable. I need to step back and just trust in myself and know that I can do it.

See...told you it was crazy inside this head of mine.