March 15, 2010

Just what I needed

This past weekend was JUST what I needed. The hooligans are in Oklahoma for the week and I had a fabulous engagement photo shoot. The Man and I had a wonderful conversation on the drive back and forth...we just don't get to talk near enough. It reminds me how much I love him and how thankful I am that I am married to my best friend. It also makes me sad for those that are married and don't have this kind of relationship.

We talked a lot about where we are...and where we want to be. What is keeping us here, what is it that we want and need for where we decide to end up. Selfishly...I want the sense of peace and safety that I have when I am there. It is my safe place. I can't really give any other reason other than that. I know it is selfish. I just don't know if it is ok to be selfish on this one yet.

The engagement photo shoot was great. We ate, we drank, we laughed...I made some money!! whoo hoo! for that. I absolutely love it when my client trusts me and believes in me enough to take risks that they normally wouldn't take. We sat in traffic...we walked on a ledge 14 floors up, and sat in mud...I love it! and I love that they trusted me enough to go thru it all.

Lots of laughter was what I needed, that is for sure. Depression is definately something that the women in family struggle with. Some days it is all consuming..but days like yesterday sure do help to keep me afloat. Thinking back over the last several weeks...i think it ties into my monthly cycle as well. I definately hit some of my lowest lows during that two weeks...I went 8 years without having one...and now, I feel like sometimes it is definately making up for lost time. But for now, I am on the least today.

Someone made replied to a comment I made on Facebook last week about how positive I was...kinda made me laugh a little, because I definately don't feel very optimistic. I sure try, well, I at least try to pretend I am anyway...