Just breathe...

So...have I ever told you that I have a weird body? Trust me, it's freakin weird. The latest fun trip to the dr. has shown a stupid lump/bump in the bladder wall. Big deal...didn't seem like it. Oh, you want to remove it? OK sure. Laser surgery is great nowadays...Oh, no laser sugery? You want to do in patient open surgery?? what is that? You want to open my belly? Uh, no thanks. We will just resume regular programming. It's been there for 31 years....it's fine. Yes i realize it made me bleed and deal with clots...but, really, i'm sure its fine. No? You can't just leave it there? Crap. OK fine. So, let's see...September is next month and there is a wedding at the end of the month, two weddings in October...and don't forget about family sessions that are getting ready to get out of control for Christmas cards...OK, well, can we just wait until January or February? No...hmmm? Crap! Ok, so let's see...just tell me how long i'll be down and I'll just book out some time out of my schedule and we will just knock this out. 2-3 weeks....WTH? uh...no thank you! Ok wait, how long am I going to be in the hospital? 2-3 days. Freakin Great! Well....how long is the incision going to be?? 4-5 inches. WHAT??? 4-5 inches??? Do you know that I am not a big person? I think they cut babies out of smaller holes than that!!! Ok...just breathe...this is all going to work out.

Hmmmm....can he do a tummy tuck while he's already working down there? At least that will seem like it was worth the effort? No? He's just a uroligist not a plastic surgeon? Well, can't he just pull it back together really tight????


Stupid body!!!!!!

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