1st night with Sophie

Sophie was fantastic last night. She had a little trouble going to sleep in her crate, but eventually slept all night. We went the first evening and morning with no potty accidents, she is learning where "outside" is and she goes right out there to do her business.

She loves to snuggle it is the funniest thing. The Man and I were sitting on the couch last night watching the OSU game and she kept whimpering and acted very restless, so I pulled her up on the couch with me and she went right to sleep. I eventually had to take her off my lap and put her beside me because she was snoring so loudly, she stretched out and darn near pushed me off the couch. She loves being right next to someone.

She had been very quiet all evening, no barking, not too much whining, nothing really...until The Girl called. I swear Sophie howled 4 different times while The Man was on the phone with The Girl. It was hilarious, it was as if she knew she was a secret and she was trying to let The Girl know.

I can't wait until the kids get to meet her this weekend.

Welcome, Sophie Lowther

Not the best picture, it was taken with my blackberry as my camera is still at the office.  She is super sweet and super sleepy.  She snores...it's great!

She is a 3 month old boxer with white on her chin, chest and paws.  She is amazing.

A quick update

Oh, I know that I need to get on here and post a little bit, but darnit my kids are away...and i'm enjoying my time. We had a great trip back home and got to see everyone, open presents, drink a little, you know...just a good time.

Took a couple of pictures...surprised right?

Made some gingerbread houses...


OH yeah, took some more pictures



















Drove home on Christmas day, went to Billy Bobs for the first time (did the Cha Cha Glide YEAH ME) and went back to work.

OH and we are adopting a sweet baby girl Boxer tonight....I CAN'T WAIT. The kids don't know yet...so shhhhhh. I'll try to post pictures of her tomorrow.

So that's the short and sweet of the last week. Hope you had a wonderful Christmas...maybe i can post a normal post on here soon.

I've been slacking on my blogging lately... I apologize. I am just so darn tired all the time. I mean, really tired. I think I have fallen asleep at my desk twice this week. So sad. Of course it doesn't help that I am in this vicious cycle of drinking energy drinks during the day and taking sleeping pills at night so I can sleep. But WHATEVER one more day and I'm off for 9 days... I can't wait!

We are headed home for the holidays and even though it should be a time to rest and relax...my schedule is going to be just as hectic up there. However, good news is that I do have two family photo shoots up there. That's good. The kids are excited, and what's even better is that when The Man and I come home on Christmas day...it will be sans two kids. WHOO HOOO. They are staying there with the In Laws for the rest of their school break. That means I get some quiet time with no one to fight with. All will be right with the world at that point.

Work is work...nothing great, nothing bad...just work. I'm so ready to be out of here though. My fingers are crossed that I can get all the reviews wrapped up by tomorrow afternoon and get all the salary increases processed. That is MY goal anyway. No one is ever on my time schedule...and that's ok, i can still push for it.

The Boy had his first band concert and he ROCKED the trombone. :) He really did wonderful, even though he will tell you that he messed up a few times. It was amazing to sit and listen to 120 6th grade kids play these Christmas songs...considering none of them had ever played an instrument prior to 4 months ago. It was pretty cool. He really enjoys his teacher too, the guy makes it a lot of fun and he thinks very highly of The Boy. Before the concert I had to go let the teacher know that The Boy was there, however, he forgot his music so The Man was racing home to get it. The teacher stopped me and said that The Boy is doing VERY well in class and he is impressed with how he plays the trombone and overall he is just a really great kid. My heart swelled and tears filled my eyes. I told him "thank you so much, Mommas really like to hear those things". He is an amazing person and I hope he truly knows how proud I am of him and how I think he is going to conquer the world when he gets older.

The Girl is...well she is a GIRL. She is sweet, and loving...and moody and temperamental and REALLY emotional....she is a girl. We are struggling with the "it's not fair" stuff right now.
It's not fair that he gets to go there.
It's not fair that he gets to pick dinner.
It's not fair that I have to sit and listen to his band.
It's not fair that ....

really the list just keeps going. So my constant speech right now is that it's ok that it's not fair. It's not supposed to be. He is older than you and he gets to do things you can't do. When you turn 11 you can do those things. But for now, you get to do what all other 7 year olds get to do. He is always going to get to do more than you, that's just the way it works out - he's older than you.

She has a beautiful little heart and loves to make me happy as well as others, but boy when she's mad or upset WATCH OUT. She is going to be a force to be reckoned with when she gets older.

I officially bought the last two gifts I had to buy today. All the laundry is done and just needs to be put up. Tonight's activities will be pizza for dinner, choir concert for The Boy, and packing for the trip.

Hopefully, I'll be able to blog while I am out of town...but if not....

Merry Christmas - I hope the holidays are good to you and know that I wish you nothing but the best.

Freakin' Freezing

I am trying to get some work today, really I am. But it is so freakin' cold in my office - my whole body hurts. I have turned up the heater because the lady next to me is gone, but I swear it is just not enough. I have on a tank top with a long sleeve shirt, and I just went and got her sweater to put on. I had to close my door so that hopefully it hold some of the heat in here. I HATE to be cold...I mean I really HATE to be cold. Spring cannot get here soon enough...

We are finishing performance reviews this week- so it's fairly quiet for me right now. I kinda thought I would get mine done before British Guy went out of town...but not so much. Whatev! Everyone else's is progressing along nicely...it has been interesting to see how people rate themselves compared to how their supervisors rate them...I have a hard time bragging about myself and actually do produce quite a bit of work...others seem to have NO problem bragging on themselves and we STILL can't figure out what they are doing every day. Hopefully 2009 will be a better year and we can make some good changes to the company and get things on track.

This weekend begins a hectic week for me...I was thinking about it last night and holy moly i have a lot to get done. You know what I wish for?? I wish there was a maid that would walk into my house, as it is right now, and clean it for me. Load all the dishes in the dishwasher, hang up the clothes on the chaise, run a couple of loads of dirty laundry...she could even just put it in piles for me and that would be great. I really need to just get in there and do it, but by the time I can in the evenings, i am so tired i don't want to move and the weekends...well that's just funny. So here is what the schedule looks like:

Friday - The Boy has band rehearsal from 4:00 - 5:30; The Girl has Choir rehearsal from 6:30 -7:00

Saturday - The Girl has her Choir Concert at church and has to be there from 2:00-7:00 then she goes straight to a sleepover

Sunday - Church and then I have an appt to have some pictures done

Monday - The Boy has Band rehearsal from 4:00 - 5:30

Tuesday - The Boy has his Band concert from 6:00 - 7:30

Wednesday - The Boy & The Girl have church and The Man and I have date night

Thursday - The Boy has his Choir concert at school and I have to make chicken and noodles for a luncheon at work on Friday

Friday - We leave for Tulsa

notice there was no days in there to clean the house and pack for the trip...yeah, I noticed that too.

I also need to make cookies and candies for our workplaces.

Maybe i can do something early saturday morning and late sunday evening...


OH - I forgot to tell you...The Man has agreed to let me get a dog, hopefully for Christmas because he tells me that is what my Christmas gift is :)

So I have an application in for this sweet girl... yes Wise One, we have decided against the English Bulldog. I WILL have one at some point, but for now - we decided to go back to what we know. Cross your fingers - I should know something soon.

OK, back to work - maybe i can find some hot tea...

Logo

what do you think of this logo? Simple....yes, but does it "fit" me? When you click on it, it should open up in another window - and I think it looses the blurry thing going on here

OH

and i only have 3 more things to buy and then i am DONE christmas shopping!!!!

Woo Hoo for me!

Wonderful and Exciting day

So my mom...let's call her..... The Glass Lady (unless you have a better suggestion) bought me a super exciting christmas gift. She bought me the lens I have been waiting to buy. It came in the mail today so i rushed home to make sure no one swiped it off of my porch... OH MY GOSH i cannot wait to get it out of the box and use it. Unfortunately it is looking like I won't get to today as it is super overcast and I have no luck of having any daylight left by the time i get home. But I just cannot wait. (note to self: don't tell her what you want next time...she has a shopping sickness)

I also started my myspace for my photography...www.myspace.com/maddiepiecreations

I can't wait to get this business up and running - it is so exciting. I could spend hours just thinking of things to do...next will be the website - but I'm shooting for January 2009 to have that done. One step closer....

I'm almost done....

...with all my Christmas shopping!!

I seriously only have 2 more pairs of pajamas, and the "big" gifts for The Boy and The Girl. Woo freakin hoo...we are in the home stretch now and it's only Dec. 5.

OH..other big news - I might have a "real" paying photography job coming up. I'm emailing the client about it today...maybe I can buy the new lens i want with that money.

Busy Busy Girl

Good grief I have been busy lately. The Man pointed out the other night that I had stopped blogging. It wasn't intentional, life just kind jumped up and swallowed me whole this past week. After The Wise One went home I started in on my candles. It's a fun thing to do, but it can become all consuming if I let it. However, I am happy to report that a week and a 1/2 later I have a little over 100 candles ready to be sold. My goal is to get them sold quickly so that I can go back and buy more supplies to sell more...cross your fingers for me. My poor kitchen is swimming in candles right now - it's really kinda funny.

This past weekend, The Man's best friend and family came down for the weekend. I am so happy they were able to get here - we have tried to get them down here for the whole 4 years we have been here. But alas, they finally made it and it was on a long weekend. For those of you who don't know much about Tulsa...when you come to Texas...you come to go shopping. So on Black Friday (yes, i know we are crazy) we headed out to Grapevine Mills Mall. Now let me explain something to you - this mall is a nightmare on any normal day of the year. I swear there is always a crazy busy crowd there, and Black Friday was insane as expected. But we found some good things and got a little christmas shopping done. Saturday we headed up to Frisco to go to Ikea...let me just say I HEART IKEA!! I mean I am so in love with this place - I swear our next house we are going to furnish it with all things IKEA. But this trip was just for little things - so we got a new wine rack, wine glasses, tuperware and a couple of other things. Our friends went back the next day on their way home. She hearts Ikea too. :)

Sunday after our friends left I had a photo shoot with a couple. It was super crazy windy on Sunday...I mean REALLLY crazy windy. It was pretty tough to get some pictures - there were so many that didn't turn out good, but I had my darn camera on the wrong settings. so frustrating. But overall, I am pretty happy that I was able to capture a couple despite the darn wind.


My Christmas shopping is progressing. The photo books have been ordered and I have gotten a few of the smaller things on the list. I really need to sit down tonight and figure out what else needs to be done. I think mostly it's just shopping for all the kids in the family. I have Little Sister's gift taken care of...well part of it. Other than that...wow there is still a lot to do.

OK, gotta get back to work. This week has been super productive and we have made several steps in the right direction. It's a good feeling to be able to do what you were hired for and see it making a difference. This week's focus is annual performance reviews - next week...who knows.

Aprons and Family

So while I have been a photography blog stalker for some time now - I have started to venture out and see what everyone else is stalking... Look at these aprons! I am not much of a in the kitchen kind of girl - but one of these just might do the trick. Go check them out - she has a giveaway going on today for either an apron or an apron kit. So very cute!

This past weekend was great. Spent some fun times with the Wise One and football is finally over. While it was sad for the boys - I was very excited that my house and my life can finally get the attention it deserves. Just a couple of pics from the weekend.

"It doesn't take much to move me. To shove me down or lift me up."

Birthday Wishes and random stuff

Today The Boy turns 12...WOW. I really wonder when that happened. It is amazing to me the person that he is and who he is becoming. While we fight like crazy, I pray it is only the age and the hormones and that soon we will circle back around and find some common ground to land on. He is such a great person and has such a sweet little heart. Sometimes it's hard to see, but it's there.

Today was one of those rare moments where he let his love for The Girl show a little bit. He was opening his birthday presents from us this morning and The Girl gave him her gift...it was some fuzzy socks (from Bath & Body Works) that he has been wanting since last year. He looked at the socks and looked at her and asked if she picked them out. She hesitantly said yes and he told her "thank you so very much" and gave her a great big hug. Which of course led to me having to redo my flippin' eyeliner again -but it was SOOOO worth it.

I took him to Starbucks this morning to get a pumpkin loaf and a hot chocolate...because I hadn't gotten all the ingredients to make the pumpkin bread... and while we were waiting in line the radio station we listen to started to announce the birthdays...he waited so patiently - just hoping that his name would be announced over the air. I prayed that I had gotten the email in early enough to be added to the list. FINALLY they said it - mispronounced the last name - but they said it...and that was all that mattered. I tried not to look at him, but with tears in my eyes behind my sunglasses (i have no idea why i teared up) i turned around and he had the biggest smile on his face. It was priceless....then he says "They ALWAYS say it wrong". We both laughed - lord knows he is destined to a life of people mispronouncing his last name.

We are going tonight for his birthday dinner to Texas de Brazil. It is a crazy expensive place - but I swear I don't think I have EVER seen The Boy enjoy something so much. This place serves meat...LOTS AND LOTS of meat. Any kind of meat you want - The Boy prefers the filet mignon...imagine my surprise. They give you these little round cards and one side is red and one is green. The red side says "no, please don't offer me any more food" the green side says "bring on the meat!" so the waiters just keep coming around with these giant spears of meat that the shave off or slide off on to your plate. The first, and only, time we had been there I think he had a sirloin, a pork chop, something else, and 6 filet mignons...I'm really not kidding. If you have spent ANY time with The Boy...you understand exactly how big that is for him. He ate and ate and ate...and they just kept bringing it around. So after football practice tonight - we are off to eat lots and lots of meat...and make one little 12 year old a VERY happy boy.

I love him! I love him so much - it almost hurts my heart. I love it when I get a text message in the afternoon about 3:45 that says "How are you?" It's almost like he actually cares...I know in reality it is just to be able to send a text message..but every once in a while I get an unprompted "I love you". I hope he knows that I love him more than it seems possible.


OK - on to the random stuff

I'm headed to go buy candle stuff today to get started on that project. But first, I really have to get the house cleaned up. I have no idea how to get it all cleaned up. While we went to laundry mat to get all the laundry done (seriously - I had 10 loads) I still have a closet full of dirty clothes and a crazy pile of clothes that need to be hung up. Overwhelming just doesn't even describe it. I really really need a whole day to get the house clean - a day with no kids, no activities, no nothing but me the radio and a LOT of cleaning. There is just no time to get it done. Maybe I will go home for lunch tomorrow and see what I can knock out and then tomorrow while the boys are at practice.

We won the first round of playoff games and have another one this Saturday night. If we win that one - we play again on Dec. 6...regardless of the outcome of that one - I think we play the following Saturday. Is it wrong to pray that we loose this weekend??

The Man says I will get a break from practice next week even if we win this weekends game...I almost laughed out loud (I couldn't because I was livid about the practice time for tonight) but his idea of a break from football and my idea of a break from football are a little different, i'm sure of it. I didn't even ask what it meant, because in all reality it just doesn't matter. So what if no one has any clean underwear, so what if no one has no toothepaste because I can't get to the store...it's all for the greater good. right?

My goal with the candles is to get 10 batches done by this sunday...I figure i can do 2 batches on a normal night and i can knock out quite a few on sunday. I want to try to let them cure for 10 days so that means they should be ready to sell by December 1st.

That's about it for now...i'm sure I will think of something later.

Big Plans

Holy Moly...Christmas is almost here.

So I am almost done with my lists of who we are buying for, now I just need to get out there and get it all bought.

This weekend I have a lot to get done and the shopping is just going to have to wait.

Tomorrow's plans:
hair appt at 10
soccer game at 12
laundry MUST get done at this point
football game at 8 - but we have to be there at 7

Sunday doesn't look too bad...yet
so far just church
and more laundry

Next week, I have to get the two Bosses out of town for an EXPO, celebrate The Boy's birthday, The Wise One is coming into town, go buy supplies for candles, and of course...don't forget football practice every night. Depending on when the playoff game is next weekend, The Boy and The Man are going to take two other Boys to the TCU football game as part of The Boy's birthday - his actual party is going to have to wait until December when all playoff games are over.

Unfortunately, no photography this weekend. The football game is at night, so i'm not real comfortable shooting in the dark yet, but I will try to get some of the last soccer game.

OK, back to working on the budget and picking out christmas gifts.


OH...by the way...if The Man asks you what I want for christmas...please be sure to tell him that I want an English Bulldog. He knows, but a little extra reinforcement never hurt.

Thankful:
- I'm so very thankful that The Man and I are on the same page about what our future holds for us.
- I'm thankful for a job that allows me to be close to home and pay off some more debt.
- I'm thankful for The Scott-Kinzie's...they have been a wonderful addition to our lives.
- I'm thankful that my best friend is going to start her own Thanksgiving Day tradition and that will get to participate.
- I'm thankful that people seem to like my photography, even when i'm not so sure.
- I'm thankful that The Man - gets excited about the things I'm excited about.
- I'm thankful that my crazy kids still love me...no matter how much we get frustrated with each other.
- I'm thankful that it looks like we might get to have most of our debt paid off in 4 years.

Mentoring..

So here is what I'm thinking...I would like to mentor with a photographer for a day. To pick her brain, to see what i'm doing wrong, to see what i should be doing going forward. Not necessarily to build a business but to just take better pictures in general. While I do want to have this become a business, I really just want to be better at something that makes me happy.

But how do you approach someone? How do you say...Hey, can I tag around with you for a day and pick your brain?? Is that insulting? Is it a complement? Is it a complete pain in the rear end for someone to ask so many questions.

I have become a blog stalker for so many photographers just waiting...patiently...for someone to offer out a little nugget of information about how they achieved a certain something in their photos...

Ugh! this is so hard.

Two Photo Shoots

Whew! This weekend I was lucky enough to be able to shoot two beautiful families. I love that I learn something every time I do this and I feel as though I get better and better. I absolutely love doing this and really hope that it can develop into something wonderful. What a great life - to shoot pictures and make candles...my kind of perfect job!

I'm thinking that I want to incorporate both hobbies into a business. .. Maybe I could name it MaddiePie Innovations or MaddiePie Creations...or MaddiePie something or other...I haven't landed on a name just yet - but we are working on it.

I have too many favorites to post from each session so I'm just going to post my absolute favorite from each one.

Driving

So I leave this morning, completely frustrated because it's been one of those mornings...they happen often. Drop off both kids - leave the school and head for work... A decision must be made, go all the way down to the road that has the light or just turn left without the light. I decide, today I can just turn left without the light and cross 3 lanes of crazy traffic. Well...I was wrong, today I hit this little red car. Just clipped the back end of her, I still can't figure out why she wasn't out of the way by the time i got there...I guess my timing was WAY off. she was fine, I am fine. But dangit!! I can't believe I hit her. I mean I really can't believe I stinkin' hit her. The Man was wonderful and didn't get upset with me. I know it's just a car, but for the love of all things...it's still frustrates me. Dangit!

You're freakin' me out lady

As we sit down for dinner last night, I ask The Boy...how church went..."fine" he says. I ask him "So, what did ya'll talk about as you tipped backwards in my chair with your feet propped up on the table?"

"How did you know???"

"When you guys were praying at the end, did everyone go around the table and say something?"

"You're freakin' me out lady! How in the heck do you know that? Were you watching cameras somewhere?"

It was the funniest thing, he was completely stumped. In reality me, The Man, The Girl, and H stood outside watching thru a window that had a screen over it so they couldn't see out. It was so stinkin' funny to watch his reaction...I never told him how I knew. Maybe it will keep him on his toes never knowing what I know (insert evil laughter here)

I have to brag on The Man for a minute. He has gotten up two work mornings in a row and gotten the kids out of bed and started on their routine for me before I have gotten out of the shower. It makes the mornings soooooo much better. He helps out in a little ways where he can and I love him so much for that.

Weekend was good - we lost our football game, but I think we all expected to. The boys still played hard and that is all that matters. They didn't go out there and just let the other team stomp all over them. The Girl did great for the 1st half of the soccer game but we had to leave at 1/2 time to get to the football game. She did great in cheer too.

Halloween was fun. We went around with some of the people from the football team. It was nice to be with a group of people...I think the adults had just as much fun as the kids. After that, we stopped at a house of some friends that we hadn't seen in a while and it was a reminder that our families have really just grown in different directions. We want different things out of life. There is nothing wrong with that, it just kinda makes me sad that an 11 year old friendship has gone by the wayside.



Off to start the week...

So sleepy

Good grief I am sleepy. I mean, seriously - I could just lay my head over on my desk and sleep for a while. That's pretty much all i want to do anymore, just sleep. I get so excited for the moments where I can just be and close my eyes. I'm just so dang tired.

I have never slept very well...i have no idea why, perhaps its the ADD. But regardless, I just don't sleep very well. I have NO problem going to sleep. In fact, the poor Man knows that if I sit down for too long in the evenings, I'm going straight to sleep. However, once we go to bed, that's pretty much the end of it. I would say that I wake up probably 7 or 8 times a night. For no reason, just because something in my head/body wakes up and that's that. I have tried, Ambien (which is awesome stuff), Tylenol PM, Advil PM, and now i'm taking Melatonin. It is good for going to sleep quickly - which comes in handy when I drink an energy drink to late in the day, but still no good in the middle of the night.

I think it is funny that the doctors tell you that sleep aids, such as Ambien, can be addictive. I now it's not funny...but seriously, let's think about it:

1. I go to the doctor because i'm not sleeping
2. Doctor gives me Ambien but tells me it can be addictive and I can't take it too long
3. Go home, take Ambien...sleep like a ROCK!
4. Stop taking Ambien...don't sleep
5. Go back to taking Ambien...sleep like a ROCK

So, here is what is funny - how do you know if you are addicted to it? You can't sleep without it? Well...isn't that the WHOLE reason you started taking it???


And then there are the dreams... I have ALWAYS been a person who has incredibly vivid dreams. My dreams shake me to the core some times, more times than not. I can dream, and wake up and remember every little detail. Unfortunately, they typically are not "good" dreams. But, it's always been that way. Last night was no different. The dream I had was about The Girl and it took me most of the morning to shake the bad feelings I had. If there was one thing I could wish for, for my children, it would be that they do not have such vivid dreams like I do. At least if they are going to, I wish for them to be happy dreams and allow them to wake up feeling good.

Well...off to go find more caffeine... lots more work to do today.

UGH! Work

So one big FLAW I have (one of the many) is that I let things bother me and I can't seem to shake them off easily...

Well, today is one of those days...The Big Boss Man, who says he's going to let British Guy run the company, tells me today that he isn't real sure what I do every day...

WHAT? ARE YOU SERIOUS? OMG

While I know that I have already made a difference in the 3 months that I have been here, it bothers me that he doesn't know that. I am so not one to walk around and toot my own horn, so i'm not going to go to Big Boss Man every day and say "look what i did today". I want those above me to tell him when he asks...I want the British Guy to say "hey, check out what Mommaloo is doing".

But no, that's just not how it works. So I just spent the last hour typing up my "list" of what I have been working on. let me just say, it's a pretty big list if i do say so myself.

I really want Big Boss Man to come to me and say "I had no idea you were doing all of this...good job" But again, no, that's not how it works. I'd be surprised if it even gets acknowledged.

So I'm leaving for lunch...i'm going to go eat lots of carbs...LOTS and maybe i'll feel better when i get back in the office. Because right now...the girly side of me, just would like to sit here and cry a little bit and woller around in my own self pity... But that's not very manager like.

Hot Tamales

Darn you hot tamales!!! You are killing my teeth today... but you are oh so tasty!

Our weekend was good but hectic. The Girl started feeling better late Friday night. The Boy had his Fall Choir Concert on Friday night, and he did fantastic. I know he gets embarrassed by the fact that he is in choir - but you can see it all over him - he LOVE to sing.

The Boy's football team won this weekend - so that always makes the day better. We had The Kinzie-Scotts over for dinner and got up and went to church on Sunday.

OH ...we started our financial planning class Sunday night - and The Man is completely EXCITED about all of this. It is a 3 week class and hopefully the beginning of the end of our financial debt. I'm thinking we might be able to have everything (but the house) paid off within the next 3-5 years. How stinkin' cool would that be??

The Boy's birthday is coming up next month...i have NO idea what to do for him. I can tell you now - we WON'T be doing another sleepover...that is for sure.

OK, back to work...and maybe a few more hot tamales...

ALL MY LOVE

Sickling...

What a horrible mom am I???

the nurse calls this morning at 10:30 and says The Girl is sick... yeah, right. She has spent way too much time in the nurses office for the last two years.

Is she running a fever? No
Is she clammy? no


sure she's sick...


so i pick her up and bring her to work with a sandwich for lunch...

4 bites in...and she is running to the bathroom

Guess i'm headed home now.

Lovely!

Isn't she lovely...Isn't she wonderful

Did you sing that? No, try it again...I'll wait

This is my sweet baby sister. Yes, she's as tall as me...and yes, she and my mother like to point it out ALL the time.

I am so very proud of her. She has come a really long way in the last two years. She is doing fantastic in school, she is involved in the color guard, and seems to be getting along relatively well in with mom. (She's a teenager...you can't ask for a great relationship with a parent)

I was looking through her myspace pictures a little while ago and saw one of my favorite pictures of her. I should have it framed.

She's a pretty good girl...who I think, despite it all, is going to be a fantastic lady. I can't wait.

Guilty Feelings

That's what I get for feeling bad about making The Boy run extras at practice. So we get to practice last night and The Boy starts his extras...I am feeling awful and really just want to take it back. He finally finishes and joins the rest of the team. Practice goes on and I realize that his ADD has kicked in and he has forgotten how angry he was about having to do them. So we go on about our night and all is well...

Fast forward to 6:30 this morning.

"Boy...get up. It's going to be cold today so dress in long sleeves and jeans"

lots of flipping in bed and moaning and groaning

"Boy...get up - you don't want to miss the bus again - did you hear what I said about it being cold today?"

"No"

"OK, it's going to be cold, please get up and dress warmly"

I go back to getting ready after proclaiming that I will not give reminders throughout the morning to prompt him along the away.

Keep in mind - he must leave the house between 7:15 and 7:20 to catch the bus

"It's 7:15...are you going to get ready?"

This then causes a huge state of panic because he has just spent the last 30 minutes sitting at the kitchen table playing with his dry cereal in a bowl and taking his sweet precious time.

He runs out of the door without saying goodbye because...as his sister put it... "G-D ...I'm gonna miss the bus"

As I hear the front door shut I wander out to see if he left, he did. He also left his cell phone on the kitchen counter - I run to get dressed to drive it to him, because if i call him back for it - he is definitely going to miss the bus. I open up the front door ready to run and jump into The Man's truck, because it is already outside, and I'm looking face to face with The Boy...

He missed the bus...again.

That's what I get for feeling guilty about making him run extras...it didn't even accomplish anything.


That's it...I will just take him to school. Apparently, he isn't going to be responsible this year and get himself ready in time. It's too hard on me, it's too hard on him...and we just might not survive this year otherwise.

UGH! What a wonderful way to start the morning.

Extras

So....The Boy has to run extras tonight at football practice. I feel awful and really wish he didn't.

Mornings in our house are ridiculous - The Boy can't get ready and out to the bus stop for the life of him. So, two weeks ago I told him that if he missed the bus - he was going to have to run extras at practice. Well, he missed the bus this morning - completely goofing off all morning.

Now, I know that I shouldn't feel guilty - but I've seen the extras they have to run...i have seen the boys almost throw up from them. He is so going to HATE me tonight. The mom in me really wants to just tell him that this is his warning, but the problem is...he's going to miss it again and I will be right back here again.

Ugh...tonight is going to be awful!

laughing out loud

I love it when others make me laugh at their day...yes, i'm twisted that way. I enjoy the fact that someone else's life is just as crazy as mine and things are not always perfect. H just blogged about her trip to Walmart and it totally made me laugh out loud. I love her because she tells the greatest stories...and she laughs at herself. I figure it takes a lot to laugh at your own problems...she is wonderful.

She makes me laugh because thru it all, she still has a wonderful time throughout her day and a positive attitude, no matter how bad Walmart gets.

Other stuff going on in my crazy life:

Found a youth program at the church we have been going to - off and on for a few months. I'm really excited about this because I feel like it will give The Boy the strength that he needs and the positive influences in his life to help him be the person I know he is. I want him to know that he is enough...he is enough for his friends, he is enough for the girls, he is enough to me, and he is enough to be a completely wonderful person. H and I are going to try to get both of our boys to attend their program. The boys get along pretty well and I think they really enjoy being around each other. Her Boy is crazy tall and The Boy is crazy short...it's kinda funny when they get around each other. But H's Boy is an amazing person and sticks up for The Boy when others pick on him. They compliment each other very well...kinda like the moms.

Work is insane...lots of just hectic craziness. We are in a weird place right now, where we are trying to grow, but we keep taking steps backwards. Maybe it is the growing pains of a small company, but I really hope it gets going in the right direction soon. I have already learned so much and yet so much is still pending...pending approvals, or information, data or...whatever! I still love it, I am just ready to get everyone moving in the same direction and get on to bigger and better things.

The girl...oh The Girl. I'm not entirely sure what is going on with The Girl...but good grief. Every day is a battle. I think she is in a weird transition from little girl to ...well whatever comes next. Some days she is super sassy and telling the world what her rules are going to be and other days she is crying like she is 2. I really really hope we all make it thru this in one piece. Days like yesterday...i really have to stop and wonder.

Fundraisers...OMG. Please please put a stop to all the fundraisers. So far...since August...we have had a two fundraisers for cheerleading, two for football, one for 6th grade in general, one for 6th grade band, one for 6th grade choir, and two for 2nd grade. REALLY...how in the heck am I supposed to really do all of these. 9 fundraisers in 3 months is ABSOLUTELY ridiculous. They aren't even good fundraisers...for the love of Pete people, I don't know that many people to sell this crap too. Soooo, because you can't send them back to school with nothing sold...i have bought the stuff. It amazes me, because we do all of these fundraisers...and our kids still don't have enough books to bring home for homework.

The Man has been absolutely wonderful lately. We had a big "talk" a few weeks ago and I feel like it really got us back on the same page. I think things are going pretty good for us. We are making a really big effort to have date night once a week. H makes me laugh because she keeps asking to have the kids come over during that time - i think it weirds her out that they are staying by themselves. I love our date nights though, it really gives us some time to just talk without other kidlike distractions.

OK, well...back to it - must appear like I am really working


All my love

Too many to choose from

Now, I know that the rule of photography is that you have to be willing to throw some images away. And while, I did pretty good - I still saved way too many. I'll only post some of my favorites here...hope you like them.

Woo Hoo!!

I got the family pics done!! Now i'm off to edit them, fingers crossed that I can get them posted today

Ready....set....WEEKEND

OK...I am going to get these family pictures done this weekend.

Tonight: football practice and date night

Saturday: Girl's soccer game at 10:30 am; go buy jeans for Girl and Boy; Football game at 8:00pm

Sunday: get up and go take pictures; go to church; do laundry


Please cross your fingers that they actually get done this weekend...if i keep waiting, I'm going to run out of pretty trees and be left with only twigs.


All my love

Positive Thoughts

Some days it is so hard to stay positive. It is not in my nature. Unfortunately, I have a really hard time staying positive and looking for the good in people. I am far too cynical. This week is full of those days. It seems sometimes that things just get incredibly overwhelming. Nothing that I could really list out for you...just everything.

There is so much I want to do and just never enough time to get it all done. I have lists...boy, do I have lists. I know that is what I need to see the progress that I make, but good grief, sometimes I just want to skip to the fun stuff. The stuff that makes my soul happy.

The Girl and I had a really rough morning today and that started the day off on a bad note...I wish I could rebound as well as she does. She got out of the car at school today like nothing had happened. I, on the other hand, am still bothered by it 3 hours later. She is so dramatic (not that I know where she gets that from) and some times it is just more than I can take...especially when we are trying to get out of the house in the mornings. I'm sure if I would just get up 45 minutes earlier and be ready by the time I got them out of bed things would go a lot better, but darn it...I really enjoy my sleep.

Onward and upward...today is GOING to be a good day. I am putting it out there, so it has to be.



All my love

Love it when things work out

So, this past weekend I attempted another baby shoot. Lord knows this is gonna take a lot of practice, but I learned a lot between the first one and this one. Things I will do differently, things I won't do, what to wear (me - not the subject). I also learned that I prefer outdoor shots than indoor. I am not a formal photographer...i prefer to do things a little more relaxed and more "real life".

Here is a shot from the first time (baby was 7 days old)



and these are from this weekends adventure...




the first one from this weekend is much better but the second one makes my heart smile. Happy 3 Month Birthday E.


all my love

Thankful

I'm thankful for
1. Spark from advocare...it's my version of coffee
2. The Man - he's been pretty cool lately...even if he is making me go watch a football movie
3. H...you truly make me want to be a happier and better person
4. The Boy - you may be stubborn, but I am so very proud of everything you do
5. The Girl - you amaze me every day with what you can accomplish and the person that you are
6. no more infection....yeah!!!
7. The job...every day is a new and interesting day
8. The Wise One...i can't wait until you come to town again

Work

First, let me say that I love my job. It is filled with new challenges every day and sometimes that comes excitement...sometimes a little irritation.

I work for a very small company that is trying to grow...we have faith! I have spent the last couple of months cleaning up the messes of others and trying to organize the heck out of the place. In between all of that, I have all the other "stuff" that must get done. Sometimes there are just not enough hours in the day. I feel sometimes that I bit off way more than I could chew and that I am not truly qualified for this job, but I still trudge through and continue to learn every day. I have wonderful friends and family that are great resources for me. The Wise One is the person that I rely on the most, with work issues and family issues...she is an amazing person and never lets me know that she is tired of me asking questions. I love her for that.

So anyway, back to work...yesterday I was given a resume of an individual that we are looking at bringing on to the company...now let me stress - "we" means pretty much everyone BUT me...I don't usually get a say in these things, nor do i understand why we hire the people we hire - but I digress. As I call him to get him to fill out an employment application and background consent, I can tell by his voice that he is...well...a good ol' boy. You have to understand that for this industry...our field guys pretty much just need to be a good ol' boy and willing to get the job done at all costs. (she says as she gulps and knows that this is just another person that has no experience) I receive his application back and just immediately chuckle because this is just another example...One of the questions on the employment application asks if they have had any accidents in the last 3 years. His response "not sure"

REALLY???

Did you hit the car or not? Did your car have an impact on any other object?

Wait, it really does get better... next question "If so, how many"

response "Not positive"

OMG...yeah, i can't WAIT to run this guy's background.

Another day...another dollar.

Man I love my job!



All my love

Kidneys

Darn you kidneys....darn you!!

Upward and Onward

OK, so moving on to a more positive note...

We didn't have football practice last night and it was quite nice to go enjoy dinner with the family during the week. The football coach wants to take the team to a movie Friday night, so that will be exciting for the boys (and the coaches). Our football team is officially 3-0 now - the boys are going to the playoffs!!

I wasn't able to take any pictures this weekend, but hopefully next weekend will prove to be a little better for photo opps.

This week is going to be a good week... (positive thoughts out there for my Kharma)

Thankful for:
1. my family - i love them so very much...no matter how crazy everyone is
2. the fall weather...it's coming - i know it is
3. my husband - he loves me so much he's willing to cry in front of group of people just because he sees how my heart is breaking
4. my friends...few and far between but completely wonderful

All my love

My heart breaks

My best friends mother passed away this morning...

My heart breaks for my friend as she deals with this terrible loss and helps her two small children deal with it as well.

I have known her for twenty years or so and at a point in my life her mom was almost a second mother to me. I spent many summers with their family and even after we lost touch for 4 or 5 years, we were still able to jump right back in to our friendship and sense of family. Growing up, her mother was someone that I truly enjoyed being around, she was strong, beautiful, and had a good heart. While daughter and mother had a twisted relationship..and they always have...they still loved each other. Even recently now that my friend has two small children of her own, they could still be absolutely furious with each other and then go shopping a few days later. A love/hate relationship definitely described them. I remember a photo of her mother when I was younger that made me think she was one of the most beautiful people in the world. And when I was over there, she treated me as a daughter and made me feel so much at ease when things in my life were turned upside down.

She loved her kids the best way she knew how. It wasn't always what they needed or how they needed it, but she did love them. Recent revelations have put a little bit of a different perspective on the relationships she held with them and those in their lives, and some of those things are going to cause some anger later on. I wish I could help my friend and her brother through this, however I know that they must each take it one day at a time.

My friends daughter, who is 4, looked at her and asked "why are you sad that grandma went to be with Jesus? Doesn't that mean that she isn't sick anymore and she feels better?" It was in that question that I realized that our children see things so clearly and so simply... She has such an innocence about her that she doesn't know all the things that have happened over the years, all the fights, all the harsh words that were between many people...and she doesn't need to. All she needs to know is that Grandma is with Jesus and she isn't sick anymore.

My wish for my friend and her family is that they can find some peace through all of this and know that no matter what, they were loved...even if it didn't feel like it sometimes.

I sit here and I try my hardest to keep it together...i'm at work, so it's probably not great that I break out in tears. I need to be strong for my friend. I also need to tell my kids tonight...that is going to hurt. At one point The Boy decided that he was going to do a car wash to raise money and donate it to the American Lung Cancer Society...he makes my heart smile knowing that he is so incredibly compassionate. The Boy and The Girl both made get well cards...it broke my heart because I was not able to tell them at the time that she wasn't going to get well. I want to go home and hold them all and tell them how much I love them and how proud I am of them.

As I type this, Josh Groban plays in the background and it makes my heart break. My heart breaks for sadness they will feel as the days and weeks go on, it breaks for those two sweet kids who will not truly understand all that is happening, my heart breaks as a small chapter in my life ends.

My heart breaks....


all my love

Whew! What a week

Well the convention is finally over...THANK GOODNESS!!!

Unfortunately, it was a complete waste of 3 days and my feet are so very angry with me. High heels and concrete floors do NOT go very well together. I have already informed The Man that I will be in my slippers all weekend. Fortunately for me, they ALMOST look like shoes...

My in-laws are coming in for the weekend so I really must start making a menu of what i am going to feed them over the weekend. The are going to get to see The Boy play football and The Girl cheer...i'm so excited for them. All fingers crossed that The Boy can pull it together and actually get some playing time this weekend.

So here is a question I have been battling with lately...how do you get an 11 (almost 12) year old boy to understand the importance of school and getting his homework done correctly. God completely blessed me with both of my children and gave me brilliant little ones...HOWEVER, they are extremely lazy and don't work very hard at their school work. I will completely give it to both of them, they have never really had to work hard...until now. The Boy is in middle school and taking all Pre-AP classes. He failed two tests over the last couple of weeks and when I reviewed the material with him afterwards - he completely knew all the answers. I just don't get it. He is in such a rush to get done that he absolutely refuses to go back and read his answers before he turns it in. Fortunately, we have great teachers and they both allowed him to go in and retake the tests...the math shot up to a 90 and the science test...well it got up to a 71...but that is MUCH better than the previous grade. He is so very capable but refuses to take the time to ensure that he really read the questions and wrote in the right answer... Any suggestions...

Still need to get the family pictures done...although i'm really starting to wonder when that's ever going to happen...hopefully before all the leaves fall off of the trees.

OMG....must get to the store and get stuff to make spirit sticks....REALLY must get that done


Today I'm thankful for:
1. The show being over
2. The love of The Man
3. my job...every day is a learning experience
4. the patience of those that surround me



All my love

Tomorrow is October 1, which officially means that I must start REALLY thinking about Christmas gifts. I am going to try to keep us to a budget this year because every year it seems to get out of hand quickly.

The photobooks are the priority right now. I need to spend next week working on getting all of the photos organized so they are easier to upload and the books can be designed a little quicker than they have in the last year. I'm super excited about them this year because I found a new website (www.flickr.com) and they have partnered with some other great companies that can turn out a fantastic product.

And something creative...each year i try to make something homemade for the families...one year it was blankets, another it was candles...I really need to find that GREAT idea for this year.

OH yes, things I am thankful for today:
1. I get to have dinner with Mary...she makes my heart smile every time i see her or even just talk to her.
2. Sherry is going to get to come down in November to stay the weekend
3. I have an explanation for all the raging hormones that have been going on with The Boy!
4. The Man...he's a pretty cool guy



All my love

thankful

Wow! That didn't take long for me to fall behind...

Today's list
1. I'm thankful that I don't have to go set up the show today
2. I'm thankful for the people that love me
3. I'm thankful that I didn't fight with either kid this morning
4. I'm thankful that I still WANT your help...even though it may not always make sense.



All my love

Dear God

Please please give me the patience for these people today!! And please help me find a good mood for the rest of the day...

Two Awesome Pictures

I just wanted to share two of my favorite pictures from August...

The Boy





















and The Girl














Could they be any more beautiful? I look at these pictures and I fall completely in love with them all over again. The funny thing is...they both hate these pictures.


All My Love

Ouch!!

It's really funny...when I was growing up I felt like such an ugly kid. From my clothes, to my hair, to my skin...to really just about everything about me. I was fortunate enough to marry a great guy (The Man) and he has been so wonderful to me and has pretty much let me do whatever I have wanted to do to myself to make me feel better. We spend a ridiculous amount of money on clothes...although I try to be a bargain shopper! I have great hair now and actually know how to fix it with the right products and tools - but I still spend a fortune getting it colored.

There have been some other things that I have changed about myself, but the most recent thing is my teeth. I have spent the last year in braces and now invisalign... While I know this will be worth it too in the end...Holy Cow! Every two weeks I wear a new set and every two weeks...it is like starting over. I sit here today and just want to turn off all the lights and crawl under my desk. I think mouth pain is one of the worst pains.

Mission at lunch...get some advil, LOTS of advil.

All my love

Thankful

A goal I have for myself going forward is to list out the things I am thankful for. I would like to say that I will do this every day, however, I know that I am a big procrastinator...but i'm really going to try.

So here is today's list

I am thankful for:
1. My children and that they are both wonderfully smart
2. The Man - that he continues to fight just as hard with me to make it all worthwhile
3. The people in my life that continuously support me (even in the little ways)
4. That one person in my life who can help me make sense of it all...even when she won't give me the answers :)
5. my job - I have a fantastic job that allows me to work close to home and do what I love to do
6. all the little things in life that continue to be a blessing to me

Motivation... and other randomness

Well, it's official! Someone stole my motivation this afternoon. I have a list of things that REALLY need to get done for work, but alas, the list just sits and stares back at me.

Where is my mind you ask? Well, I want to have our family pics done this weekend and I am wondering if i'm capable enough to do them myself. I bought a remote last time I was at the camera store and thought to myself, "how great would it be to not have the pressure of someone else trying to take our family pics"...little did I know just how much I would stress out over this whole concept. But...I figure if I could survive the newborn session I did 2 months ago... I can do this.

So now the big question...what to wear? for me, the kids and the Man.... ugh, such decisions.

OH...I have to tell you that I have met one of the most wonderful people ever. She is an absolutely amazing person. I love to see her eyes light up when she talks about her kids or her husband (who is away with work) and how every part of her being is about her family. She makes me want to be a better wife every time I talk to her. As for being a better mother...I figure that if we all just survive the teenage years...I've done a pretty good job.

But I digress, this woman...she is an amazing person. We were talking the other night at football practice and she mentioned meatloaf. Well, the poor Man hasn't had meatloaf in I can't tell you how long, because I refuse to make it. God love her soul...she brought him a meatloaf yesterday. The best part - she even made something for me. I love her! I love that she is constantly thinking of other people. I'm sad that I hadn't met her before now and after this season, our boys will no longer spend time together as they do not go to the same school.

Speaking of her son - he is a super great kid. It's so hard to look at other people's kids and remember that your kids aren't the complete buttheads that they appear to be. I know that I have great kids, they are smart, wonderful, compassionate...BUT they are kids, and they have hormones, and well...life is just not all that fun sometimes. But I love them, and I relish in every thing they do and every success they have.

Well, this turned out to be a lot of rambling and I apologize for that...maybe as time goes on, I will learn to be more focused in my blogs....probably not, but it's a good goal to have.

All my love

Football & Cheerleading

Boy and Girl are both trying football and cheer for the first time this year. It's scary because Boy is NOT very big at all and is playing tackle...but so far, so good.

Homecoming was last weekend...so much fun (and so much drama)

The beginning

I have stalked many blogs and have always wanted one of my own. So...today is the day! Today is the day that I get to have a place all to myself that I can gloat, vent, or just ramble.

Hello to all...or anyone that comes by!

I have two kids, (boy is almost 12 and girl is 7) - we stay so busy with girls' soccer and cheer and boy's football. Man and I both work - so there is no down time for us. In the middle of it all - I love photography. I'm by NO means great at it, but it is my hearts passion. I'll post photos out here eventually, but for now...just hello.